The Silent Killer - Completed

Daniel

With my boy getting stronger each day he was getting closer to leaving the hospital. The problem is the same can’t be said for Aoife. She has an infection and hasn’t been able to see Harry for about 2 weeks in case he catches it. I have been showing her pictures every day but it’s not the same. She is distraught not being able to see him. Every time I come back from seeing him she asks a whole bunch of question which, I guess, every mother would ask and of course there are the ‘doctor’ questions. How is he? Has he gained any weight? Is he eating properly? Have they taken any more tubes out of him? Which medication is he on?

Each time she would blurt these questions out - often not even the full question as her brain was working faster than her mouth. I always loved that about her. She would think of something so fast it would come out sounding silly and I would laugh. Every time she would make that cute, screwed up face which lasted about 3 seconds then she would say ‘I did it again didn’t I?’

I don’t know where I would be without Aoife and Ciara. They are my world. Now Harry has joined us everything would be perfect if it wasn’t for Aoife being so ill. Whenever the doctors come in to check up on her and give us an update we feared the worst. As doctors we knew things weren’t good and could go wrong at any minute.

As the days passed Aoife grew stronger and fought the infection. She was still quite weak so was still not allowed to leave bed. As a woman who likes to be on her feet and always doing something this was hard for her. Each day I’d arrive with a bag full of DVDs for her to watch. I brought Ciara today. She has hardly seen her mum the past month as we didn’t want to scare her and I have been staying at the hospital up until two nights ago while she was at her Gran’s. She loved visiting them and staying with them on holidays but I could tell now she needed to be back home and in her own bed. Standing in the lift her face was beaming. It was clear she couldn’t wait to see Aoife.

“Daddy, when is Mummy coming home?”

“I don’t know sweetie”

“I hope it’s soon” she said her smile widening.

“I hope so too” I said.

The doors of the lift opened and Ciara when shooting out the door and down the corridor weaving past the doctors talking. Robbie was there but Ciara obviously didn’t recognise him. Stopping to talk to him he asked how Ciara was coping without her mum at home. I explained it was hard but hopefully it will not be long until Aoife is better enough to go home.

“Ciara! Ciara slow down!”

“But Daddy”

“No buts Ciara there are lots of ill people in here who don’t need you screaming and rushing past their rooms.”

“But I want to see mummy.”

“I know you do but mummy isn’t going anywhere so we don’t need to rush”

As we grew closer to Aoife’s room it was quiet. The TV was not on as usual and neither was the radio. Looking through the window I saw no one in the room. I took Ciara’s hand and dragged her back towards the nurses station.

“Excuse me can you tell me where my wife is?”

“What’s your wife’s name?” the nurse said.

“Aoife, Aoife Neill”

“She hasn’t been booked out anywhere. Give me a second Sir”

I stood there rigid in fear that something had happened whilst I was gone.

“Mummy!” Ciara shouted letting go of my hand and rushing off down the corridor.

In the distance I could see a woman carefully walking towards us. She was walking with a nurse slowly as if she was treading on hot coal. As she grew closer I noticed Ciara was right. It was Aoife.

“Hi baby girl” I heard her say.

“Mummy!”

Bending down timidly Aoife wrapped her arms round Ciara as she clung to her neck.

“How’s my baby girl doing?”

“I’m ok but you need to get better so  you can come home and look after me and Harry. Oh and Daddy he isn’t very good at cooking.”

“I am so!” I said. “Hi babe” I said kissing Aoife tenderly on the lips.

“I missed you.” Aoife whispered.

“I missed you too.” I whispered back carefully raising her to her feet supporting her weight. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

We spent the afternoon in the hospital. I left Ciara with her mum for a couple of hours while I spent some time with my boy. He was getting so big and had all but one tube removed. It wouldn’t be long now until he was allowed home. His breathing was doing great and his arrhythmia in under control. The only problem is his eating habits. Since Aoife couldn’t breast feed he had to go straight on to formula. This meant he didn’t get all the nutrients he needed so his immune system wasn’t very effective for a while. That’s what the last tube is for. Like I do every day I took a picture on my phone wrapped his hand around my finger and blew him a kiss as he was still in an incubator for a few hours a day.

When I got back to Aoife’s room a smile beamed across my face. Ciara and Aoife were fast asleep on the hospital bed. I remember when Ciara was younger and every morning she would come in to our bedroom and snuggle up under Aoife’s chin just like Aoife does to me. She may need to feel safe and secure at times but I know that when the people she loves need her she will be there ready to be the protector and make sure they are never harmed.