Raindrops And Warm Hugs » maydays

group therapy ep.1

HELLO, MAYDAYS!! :D

I am about 3 months late to this, how are we doing now? :")

I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT THIS!! I just couldn't find time to actually sit down and think and write about this. so here we are, at the very first episode!

Context: i posted on my message board that i'll be here giving you all bits of advice based on your issues. You can be anonymous as well, your privacy is safe with me. To join in, you can PM me your problem and specify if you wanna be anon or not. 

Let's start?

Anon) Lately my friends have been very rude and bringing up sensitive things about me. A few days I was doing a fil in the blanks activity for school and one of the questions was, "I was shocked when blah blah blah." My friend was right next to me and said I was shocked when Suri's dad died. The way she said it was quietly so I couldn't hear it. I have asked them several times to not bring up my father. Anyways, I did hear what she said and I asked her what she said because I wanted her to say it to my face. When I asked her what she said she looked at my other friends to get them to help her. She did tell me what she said finally though. It has been awkward between us though. The day it happened, I went home and I told my mother what she said. My mother said I was overreacting and looking into it too much. I tried to explain to my mom, that the way she said it was very rude and that I've asked all my friends not to speak about my father unless I bring it up. My friend doing that crossed a line that is not allowed to be crossed. My mother believed my friend over me, her own daughter. That is not very fair, right? My mom always does this and when I try to fix the problems between us, she gets angry at me and calls me things no one should be called. What should I do to fix the problems between me and my mother. Should I stop trying and just leave our relationship the way it is and risk our bond never being stable? Or should I continue to try and fix it? 

 My friend. Do I talk to her about what she said or should I continue to ignore her? Our friendship hasn't been the best for a few years now, so should I stop being friends with her so I can have a stable mentality and not having to worry about her all the time? Because she is always stressing me out and I feel like my mental health isn't fine and her doing these things is making my health bad.

My advice) I agree, your friend was totally insensitive to have said that. Loss is a heavy feeling, and those who are blessed don't really understand it. And even though they should understand it, I'm glad that they haven't experienced it yet. Grief isn't an easy emotion to deal with. 

Having said that, you have all the right to be mad at her. I just feel like you can be the bigger person by not getting involved with her immature self and simply telling her off; like you know, straight up tell her that you do not appreciate her saying all those things and being extremely insensitive. Then you can dissociate with her, I believe that she'll not talk to you herself. 

And I haven't had the best relationship with my mother as well. She also believes others over me, and it has come to such a point that I've given up on my bond with her. BUT PLEASE DON'T DO THAT! She's still your mother (yes i am saying that haha) and even though you absolutely cannot change her opinions now, given the age, you can avoid certain topics to talk about with her. Something that triggers both of you to end up in an argument, avoid that. And show your love to her. I'm certain that she cares about you too. 

I hope this helped? :) 

(The next issue will be addressed soon [the author shall try her best to write asap] :))