Loved and Lost

Drunken needs

I know I've drank too much, but they kept coming and I didn't stop them. After the first three drinks, I felt more relaxed and just wanted to listen to the bard and his songs. After the sixth drink, the guys started playing board games while Kida and I cheered them on, which made other people in the pub join in on the action too.

At one point Bjorn and Senne came up to me separately. Bjorn had already had a few drinks by then but he was still coherent, like I think he was way past tipsy and skipped right to drunk with Earl Leif. "Ajita," Everyone around was too busy either getting drunk and singing along with the bard or playing Henfatafl.

He had my full attention, "The b-boat." He didn't seem like he wanted to bring it up, but I guess it had to be done. "I was tired, I was more than anxious about the trip. Let's let this pass and I'm sure the trust between us will grow into something better than before. Yeah?" A sorry would have surfaced, but maybe he just didn't want to use those exact words. Regardless, I accepted. I nodded my head and in return, he slapped my shoulder a lot harder than I would have liked.

I wince just a bit as he pulled me into him, wrapping his hand around my other shoulder. "Good, good. I'll be honest though, I never thought there was someone in this world that my brother would choose over me." He says the last part in a whisper. I'm sure this is just the mead talking.

By now, I had wanted to exit the conversation as fast as possible. I was lucky that his attention shifted when there was a loud cheer booming through the room.

"Ajita." 'Now what.' is all I could think at that moment. I really had just wanted to be left alone to have fun with Kida. She seems to be the best company right now.

By now, I was starting to sway back and forth. "Let us talk for a moment," I have my horn in hand, as does Senne. I decided it had gotten too hot in the pub so we made our way towards the front door. Senne held the door open for me, to which I thanked him. "How are you feeling?" He asked me, sipping his horn. It's weird seeing him like this. I'm so used to him just having steel armor on, not a tunic and trousers like a normal being. Demi-god?

"Honestly, kind of annoyed." I rolled my eyes. Not at him, just at. . . everything.

"At the world, or something specific?" His question threw me off. Never in my life would I have thought that him, someone that's hated me this whole time, would ask me a question like that.

I dropped my horn from my mouth, sort of stunned, "All of the above." He nodded his head as if he's taking in everything that I'm saying.

"I know how you feel, angry."

For some reason, his words shot in one ear and out the other, "Oh do you? Do you really?" I squinted my eyes at him.

He relaxed his shoulder and tilted his head, "Yes, actually. I do."

"Tell me how then?"

"Well let's see, being in the shadow of everyone in my family,"

"Oh, you want to talk about families?"

"Don't even get me started on yours," He went to sip his drink.

Something set alarms through my head, but the only question that made sense to me was "What about them? That they died protecting who they loved? What they loved? Unlike someone who has everything handed to him?" I wanted to shove him so hard. How dare he bring them up, as if he knew them.

He looked like he was about to say something, and I wish he had, but instead he took a step back. And to my surprise, he actually shut his mouth and took a deep breath. "I don't want to argue."