Bad Habits - (Shouto x OC)

Secret Weapons Reveal All

A/N: the nsfw version of this chapter is on Patreon!

Lani POV:

You ever have a weird sex dream about a friend or a colleague, and can't look at them the same afterwards?

Yeah. That's pretty much how I'm feeling right now. Except this wasn't a dream. No, I know that from the way I can't bring myself to fall asleep in the first place, staring up at my ceiling like I have for the last hour. I can still feel Shouto's touch on me even if he left ages ago, his scent still permeates my nostrils enough to bring dizzying sparks to my vision, sparks I wish I could dump a bucket of ice water on to simmer them down into nothing.

Ironically enough, I did try an ice cold shower before I climbed into bed, and it still didn't work. I ate sour candy, and thought of my grandma eating a hotdog, and pretty much every unattractive thing you could think of, and it still didn't quell the growing swelter of something inside my core. I was convinced my thighs would start to chafe soon from how desperately I continued to rub them together.

"Come on..." I huffed out under the heavy blankets in my bed, rolling over and swiping my phone off the night table.

3:20am read my homescreen , and of course, that's the reason I checked my phone in the first place. I felt betrayed when my mind instantly rebounded to a thought I wanted to avoid, trying to ignore that rising buzz of dreadful anxiety inside my chest...

No new message notifications.

No, of course there isn't, and why would there be anyways? Not only did I practically force myself on Shouto, but then I literally kicked him out of my apartment shortly after—without any dinner, or even a proper goodbye. Yeah, the guy's never been great at picking up social cues, but I'm sure even he can understand that is just rude as fuck.

But, what else was I supposed to do? I couldn't let him stick around after that. Not with the mess of arousal in my panties, or the lust stained in a heat on my cheeks. I...I......fuck, I made him touch my boobs. Well, I didn't make him—but, in a way, I kind of did, right? Because Shouto is Shouto, and he hates me, and I basically tricked him into touching me by sugarcoating the exercise as something for work. God, that's horrible. He's so meticulous, of course he would follow whatever instructions I gave...

He would have never touched me tonight had he known it wasn't for work.

Right?

"Right..." I breathed out, feeling gravity weighing down my chest as I dropped my phone on the bed.

Shouto is not attracted to me. He's not. He hates me. He hates to be in the same room as me, and sure, we're no longer at each other's throats anymore like we used to be in the early days. But, I just attributed that to us finally starting to understand each other and hold some semblance of civil respect. Or, at least, I'm assuming that's how he feels.

And me...

Well, of course, that's how I feel, too—I need to feel that way. Sure, maybe I've grown to enjoy his company, and it doesn't take a genius to see he's incredibly good looking. And...well, he's really sweet when you get to know him. Shy and sweet, soft and light. And, he always listens to me. He does. I know it because he's so honest, and attentive, and...

And...and, yeah, alright. I guess I'd consider him someone I like to spend time around lately. But, so what? It's not a crime to like hanging out with your colleagues. It just makes our job easier.

Job...

Yes, job. This is all just part of the job.

My skin felt almost feverish even after the icy shower I'd drenched myself in, and I couldn't stop my fingers from running up my own arm, finding it so incredibly annoying just how sensitive I was. Shouto's piercing gaze continued to burn behind the closed lids of my eyes, and I imagined my fingers as his own as they trailed up my shoulder, caressing along my collar bone, and up my chin...