Bad Habits - (Shouto x OC)

Something Good

Shouto POV:

Sweat began to prick the back of my neck as I approached the stage with Midoriya and Bakugo, but maybe that was just from the bright lights.

They were so bright, I was barely able to see the steps ahead of me, following Midoriya blindly the way I usually do. My speaking card had crinkled in my perspired hand so tightly, I was sure it ripped a little bit now. Would I still be able to read the words on the card? Would I still remember what I was supposed to say?

I...I didn't care. My heart was pounding too hard for me to care. The other hero contestants and I stood along the stage—near the back so whoever would be speaking up front could have their proper turn. Shoulder to shoulder with Midoriya and a hero I didn't recognize, the cameras began to flash brightly.

The people with the 'paparazzi' badges began to yell things at me, and the others. Questions. Comments. I wasn't even sure, really. They all jostled each other, trying to get their own microphone or camera forced to the front, and in this moment, they seemed no different than the villains I fight everyday.

It was overwhelming, but my thoughts were worse. My knees felt ready to buckle at the amount of noise in my head, and immediately, I searched for Lani in the crowd. But, the bright lights didn't allow me to see her. They didn't allow me to see anything, and I...I....

I need to do this. For her. For Lani.

So, even though my chest fell, and everything within my stomach told me not to, I sighed heavily and finally lifted my speaking card into my vision, trying to actually read it this time and absorb what I was required to say—what would apparently change my life after tonight.

I didn't know what that meant. Did it mean there would be no more Lani? Or, if she was there, did it mean she would no longer be there as often? Did it mean we would no longer be alone without Momo in between us? That I'd no longer be able to spend the night at her apartment, or feel her touches? Did it mean she'd stop complimenting me? And running her hands through my hair? And telling me how handsome I was?

Did it mean....

...that she'd no longer have time for me?

I exhaled and this time my breath came out shakier. I've always been a reliant person. Well, actually, I was un-reliant on people for so long, that once I got my first taste of it, I didn't know how to handle it. I've had the same best friends since my first year of high school, and I rely on them a lot. Even if they don't realize it sometimes—even if I, myself, don't realize it sometimes.

Because it's not something I had a lot of experience with growing up, I never know how much to give to people. I...I thought I was giving a lot of myself to Midoriya, and to Bakugo. But, it wasn't until I met Lani that I realized...

There's more to me. This...this whole other side that I didn't know about. That, all this time, I had a lot more to give than what I was sharing with people.

And...I think...because of that...and because of who she is....I've become very reliant on her company. So...the thought of no longer having it...of no longer having the one person who really understands me...

It makes my vision close in like a tunnel. It makes my lungs tighten, and lightheadedness consumes me. Everything feels too big and too small all at the same time. And my heart is pounding so hard that I hear it in my eardrums.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I was too overwhelmed to tense, hearing Midoriya's voice in my ears even if it sounded like I was underwater.

"Shouto...are....okay...?" His words came out choppy and unclear.