look after you | hyunin

xxiii

december 8, 2017

about a month passes since everything happened.

hyunjin spent his sister's death anniversary telling jeongin about how amazing she had been before things went to shit. jeongin insisted on hyunjin spending that day with him to grieve. hearing about the boy's past made jeongin understand him a bit more.

on jeongin's side of things, hyunjin's family has been helping him get things sorted out for the trial with his parents. there's a lot of legal business that goes into the situation and jeongin hates how overwhelming it all is.

he's still at hyunjin's because it isn't going to all just go away like that. there's a process for things like this that unfortunately can take longer than you want them to. jeongin has been aware that this would be hard.

he just wishes it wasn't.

fortunately, at this point, hyunjin had started going to therapy again and jeongin was in the process of finding professional help as well.

someday and somehow, things would be okay.

however, today feels worse than ever.

the now black-haired boy sighs as he flops onto the couch at hyunjin's house. yes, his parents are in custody and he's safe. however, his whole brain feels like mush and he just wants to sleep for the whole weekend.

thank goodness it's friday.

"you alright there?" hyunjin chuckles as he walks in after the boy and shuts the door behind him.

"i'm doing horrible, thanks for asking," jeongin mutters dryly. his voice is muffled as he practically shoves his face into a pillow.

"hey, at least it's friday," the boy with the now short and light brown hair smiles softly. "we're gonna have a fun christmas-themed weekend! don't worry, innie, it'll get your mind off things."

"it's not gonna help," the younger boy sighs dramatically as hyunjin sits on the loveseat nearby. "christmas only makes me think about how much i hate the holidays because of my parents. if i don't get a therapist soon, i'm committing arson."

hyunjin giggles softly.

"you are not doing that," he says. "hey, we don't have to do group activities, either. i'm okay with it just being us."

that's the other thing.

after 4 months of knowing hyunjin, jeongin started realizing that his attachment to him isn't as simple as just a friendship.

there's something about him he can't put his finger on. something that made hyunjin special apart from his endearing qualities. he isn't entirely sure and hasn't felt like dwelling on it, but something feels different.

he'll figure it out eventually.

"hyung, you've spent so much time around me-" jeongin says.

"i already told you that you don't have to use honorifics anymore-"

"-i just don't really understand how you're not sick of me yet," the younger says. the mood shifts with his sentence. this causes hyunjin to frown. "i haven't helped you at all. i've made things worse and i know i always say things like this. i sound like a broken record. i get that- i just- i just can't help but feel so guilty for being the only thing you worry about."

hyunjin chuckles softly. "you've definitely said this to me before. you aren't someone i can just get sick of, jeongin. i care a lot about you outside of keeping you safe."

"but-"

"you aren't causing me any distress or toxic feelings, angel," the honey-haired boy states simply. jeongin finally sits up and makes eye contact with him. "i'm the reason for all the unhealthy feelings and thoughts i've had. i have voiced this to you before. that's why i'm going back to therapy.