look after you | hyunin

xxxii

january 2018

three weeks pass with the new year arriving. it's already halfway through the month and so much has changed.

for starters, jeongin had gone through with the trial. his parents got a two-year sentence and he felt a sense of relief.

along with relief came the guilt for feeling any sort of positive emotions about being separated from his parents. on one hand, he's thankful he doesn't have to worry about them finding him anymore.

on the other, he feels bad.

jeongin knows it sounds crazy. it's been eating away at him because he knows they deserve it.

yet there's the part of him that can't help but think don't they also deserve to be cared about, too? don't they deserve to get the help they deserve so i can give them another chance?

why would you want to give them another chance? they traumatized you. you deserve this peace.

what about their trauma? what about the help they never got and deserved to get?

every time jeongin starts thinking about it, he can't help the downward spiral his thoughts go into. unfortunately, he knows that even with the amount of help and support he's getting, he'll always have these thoughts in the back of his mind.

everything will turn out better... eventually.

right now, though, jeongin's adjusting to this new chapter of his life. he thought he would have to go into foster care. luckily for him, his aunt that babysat him when he was a toddler was granted custody over him for the time being.

he's thankful he doesn't have to adjust to complete strangers. it's still terrifying nonetheless, though. he hasn't seen his aunt or cousins in years, so he still feels awkward adjusting to the new situation.

he'll get used to it. right now is just overwhelming. luckily, jeongin has his friends to get him through it.

"how are things going?" seungmin asks the raven-haired boy over the phone.

"alright? i guess?" jeongin sighs. "i mean, i'm happy to be able to have some sort of freedom. my aunt's been letting me bring her car to school since she works from home.

"it's just... weird, y'know? i've only been here for a week and i've started therapy and as grateful as i am, it's all just... new? like, i'm happy to have gotten to this point but i'm terrified for what's to come."

"that's okay. you have every right to feel that way. it's a new environment and adjusting isn't easy," seungmin explains. "i'm just glad you finally get the chance to start fresh."

"yeah," jeongin scoffs softly. "or whatever this is."

"hey, cheer up. do you wanna hang out and study for finals?"

"i'm actually- i'm just gonna relax for the rest of the day and study on my own," the raven-haired boy says. "i, um- i just wanted to ask you something before i let you go."

seungmin raises a brow at the sudden change in topic as if he knows what— or perhaps who— jeongin wants to ask about.

"have you talked to hyunjin lately?"

seungmin smiles smugly to himself at the confirmation of the topic at hand. "yeah, actually i have. he came over to my house yesterday, felix was there too. the four of us just hung out for a bit.

"he asked how you're doing, actually," he continues cautiously. "i know you texted him on christmas and he didn't respond- he's just... he's waiting it out. don't worry, okay?"