Homeless

Chapter 8

"I was a prostitute."

Silence. Nathaniel was either stunned, or he sensed that I hadn't yet finished speaking. His face betrayed nothing past the patient waiting. He only stared at me, as if urging me with his eyes to keep going, to say the rest.

So I did.

"I was a prostitute. Well, my mother was." I took a deep breath, shoving the feelings of shame and unreasonable guilt away. "I was born in a... whorehouse, just like Mark was. Although we most likely have different fathers. Anyway, I was born and raised there. I grew up to be part of the house... a whore."

"Did you even have a choice?" he asked, his voice too calm to be right.

"In what?" I asked, looking at the fiery hearth, knowing exactly what he meant.

"You know what I mean, Daphne."

It was difficult to keep going. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, but I forced the words out. "At first, I was basically forced to have sex with the clients," I said. "But afterwards I got used to it. It was the only way to survive there. I just shut everything out."

"The first few years," Nathaniel said, his voice horrified. "Daphne, you're twenty years old now. How... how old were you when....?"

I bit the inside of my cheek and shook my head. That was it. I shouldn't have divulged even this much. But I felt that I owed him a degree of honesty.

Nathaniel shot up, startling me, and started pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair.

"I can't believe it... you were a kid." He shook his head in disbelief. "And your mother? She didn't do anything?"

If I told him the reason she had me in the first place, he'd probably lose it. Enough shock for one night. I sighed and stood up.

"She didn't do anything," I said. "Look, it's not important. I told you because I want you to know the sort of person you're letting into your life-"

"Of course it's important!" He threw his hands up. "You shouldn't have gone through any of that. Where's this brothel, anyway? We should-"

"No!" I said sharply, making him pause and stare at me in bewilderment.

"Daphne, you can't protect the people there after -"

"I'm not protecting them," I said. "I'm protecting myself and Mark. I told you this because I felt you deserved some truth about who I was, but if you mention going after those people I'm going to have to leave."

Nathaniel opened his lips to argue but I spoke first. "Nathaniel, please. If you truly want what's best for Mark and me then just... just let it go. Please."

He thought for a long minute. Then all tension left his body in a deep exhale. His shoulders slumped. Running a hand down his face, he nodded. "Alright, okay... If this is what you want."

"It is. Thank you." He nodded mutely. "Look, I understand if you don't want us here anymore-"

"No, stop, Daphne. Just...stop," he said in a soft voice. "You're not going anywhere. Definitely not after what you just told me."

He stepped closer until I stiffened, then he stopped, his smile genuine. "You're an intelligent, strong girl, and Mark is a brilliant kid. You don't deserve to live your life running around like you're criminals, because you're not. You're going to have a great life, I just know it. And I promise I'll do everything I can to help you do it."

I blinked fast, swallowing the knot in my throat. After Ester, it was the first time someone told me such a thing. And I realized how bad I needed to hear those words of faith and hope.