Homeless

Chapter 12

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A few weeks after escaping the House, I realized that I developed a revulsion to physical contact.

Ironically, I had been fine back in the House. The aversion started after leaving that hell. Except for Mark, touching anyone else made my stomach churn and my skin crawl.

If that was to be the only imprint the House left on me, I could live with it. But it wasn't.

I was washing something in the sink, my back to Nathaniel who was leaning against the island, digging into a piece of the coffee cake he loved.

Fortunately, Mark was in our bedroom, stacking all his gifts.

"Man." Nathaniel moaned out loud, the sound rising the hairs on the back of my neck. "This is so good."

And suddenly, I was back in one of the rooms, lying on my stomach, my skin slick with someone else's sweat and pain between my legs, a choking grip on the back of my neck as he took what I had lost over and over again.

The feel of the satin sheets, the coolness of the room against my bare skin, the smell of sex and sweat and blood. The sound of a male voice moaning out loud. "Man, this is so good."

My heart was beating so hard, I was afraid it would break out of my ribcage. The glass in my hands dropped in the sink, shattering into pieces. Walls closed in on me. I blinked hard, visions of the past melting into the present. My lungs squeezed into tiny balls.

"Daphne?"

"No!" I yelled, whipping around. My hand reached for the knife in the back of my pants. It wasn't there. Panic choked me. I stepped away from the man in front of me. His features blurred. He was tall and intimidating and male. That was all I saw.

I scrambled back. My feet got tangled in each other and I fell. Pain laced my hip, barely registering under the layers of excruciating memories. Shutting my eyes, I pulled my knees to my chest and tucked my head in, covering it with my arms and making myself as small as possible.

Stay as unnoticeable as possible. It was a lesson Ester had taught a young me. It had stopped working long ago, but it was still entrenched in my head, it seemed.

"No, no, no. Stay away," I mumbled.

It was too much. It was all back. I wasn't safe anymore. I wasn't safe.

I felt his presence getting closer. "Daphne-"

"Stay away. Please stay away. Please, please, please," I begged, knowing that it was all in vain. They never heard my pleas.

"Okay, Okay."

Over my harsh breathing, I heard his heavy footsteps backing away. "I'm not going anywhere near you, okay? I promise... Daphne, it's just me. It's just Nathaniel."

His calm tone slowly but surely cleared the haze in my head.

Minutes ticked by and the man didn't come near. I slowly lowered my arms and raised my head. Blinking, my eyes found dark ones.

Nathaniel. I knew him. It was just Nathaniel. He wouldn't hurt me. It was just Nathaniel. My breathing slowed down, and my heart settled.

Nathaniel, too, was sitting on the floor on the other side of the kitchen, far enough from me. I was still too frazzled to read the look in his eyes. I felt like I was just waking up from a nightmare, and I still didn't know if it was reality or just a dream.