Baby I'm Yours

Words

His words led me from my world into his
As he whispers his desires from his moist lips into my ear
A pure seduction of everything he wants to give and take
From the fruits of my body
To the dripping water of us

- Norah Hussein

Meerab was frustrated, and it wasn't because she was unhappy. In fact, this was the happiest she had been in the last 10 months, but she was frustrated, and she was the one to blame for it, or maybe the blame lay solely on her husband. She had fallen for Murtasim, didn't know when, but he had snuck under the carefully constructed walls around her heart and broken down all her defenses. It hadn't happened overnight... she had tried to resist him on all fronts, but his love won her over. His care and affection made her feel treasured. It had taken the bout of jealousy, the fear of losing him to another to make her realize how she felt for him, and now that she knew it was hard to contain these feelings. She wanted to tell Murtasim how she felt, but how could she do that when uttering the word "love" even in her thoughts gave her palpitations. After denying him for months, refusing to acknowledge his advances and repeatedly saying that she would never love him? Even if she did tell him, would he gloat or smile with Joy?

A new kind of need had risen in her while Meerab was struggling to come up with a way to confess her feelings. Needs that she hadn't felt before but now occupied her thoughts. The need to touch Murtasim and to be touched by him. Unaware of the struggles she was going through, Murtasim was being....Murtasim. Kind, attentive, friendly, and unfairly good-looking. He was always attractive, but these days, every little thing about him mesmerized Meerab. The way he groomed his beard, the way shirts fit on his shoulders, his smile, that glimpse of skin visible through his open collar and his hands. His long fingered hands, those arms with prominent veins and muscles that bulged under his clothes. She wondered how it would feel to run her fingers over his hands, moving up to his bicep and shoulders. Would the muscles bunch under her touch? Was he as strong as he looked? Meerab found herself staring at him often as he did the most ordinary things like reviewing files or cleaning guns.. imagining what it would be like to be close to him. There were instances when he had suddenly looked up at her... His gaze was intense, filled with heat as if he could read her thoughts. His stare made her breathless, making her wish he would take the step and touch her or just hear what her heart was saying silently, but he didn't. He had always toed the line she had drawn. Murtasim had teased her, flirted with her, but never crossed the physical boundaries or encroached on her personal space. He was a man of his word and wouldn't breach the contract, so it was up to her. But how does one go about it? Making the contract was easy. She was angry and hadn't thought things through, but this ...admitting her feelings was much much harder.

It had taken Meerab a week to come up with an idea... not a great one, she admitted to herself, but this would do. She had tried to talk to him and share her feelings, but the words just wouldn't come. She thought of writing it down but felt too cheesey. How was it that she could fight with him for hours but saying three simple words had become an impossible feat? Finally, she had decided to act before her nerves caught up with her again. She had taken the contract, the one thing that stood between them and torn it into pieces, making sure parts were still readable. She then put the pieces in a box and wrapped it like a gift, and put it on the dressing table with Murtasim's name. She hoped he would understand once he looked at the papers... she really really hoped he wouldn't make her say the words out loud. She couldn't say it... just couldn't!

Meerab was pacing in their room waiting for Muratsim. It was late he should have been home by now. She was about to text him when she heard his footsteps approaching towards their bedroom. She quickly moved to her side of the bed and pretended to browse through her phone as he came in. She acknowledged his softly uttered "Hi" with a nod, not looking up at him. Now that he was here in the room, the idea seemed utterly stupid to her... who confessed their feelings by tearing up papers and gifting them to their loved ones? This was crazy absolutely crazy. She should get up, grab the box, and run far away from Murtasim. She was getting up from the bed when Murtasim noticed the box, noticing his name written on it. Meerab debated stopping him, but it was too late. He had already reached for the box. Her breath hitched, and it seemed like her heart was pounding, drowni ng out all sounds around her as she waited for his reaction.