Chapter Nineteen (Part One) - Tydelynn

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I didn't know what to do. Oh hell, what had I gotten myself into? I didn't think that sex would be mentioned so quickly. How the hell could I have anticipated that? We became us only a few hours ago, does he want it already? I'm not easy. Does he think I'm easy? I'm not easy. I am not an easy woman. Nope. No.

Is he like that? Is that just what he wants? Of course he's the only one with no girlfriend! He probably sleeps with anything that breathes a sigh of longing in his direction...in which, I probably have done...more than once.

Oh my god, last night he thought I'd slept with Matty. He probably thinks I'm an easy lay now. Help.

How do I tell him that I don't want it yet? How do I tell him that sex is no casual thing to me? I'm scared. I'm in way too deep with this. I need to end it now before I get myself hurt.

But the more I think about it, the more I want him. I want him. I haven't felt this way before about anyone at all. This is so new. For goodness sake, I'm not a teenager anymore so why am I acting like one? Why do I feel like one? Hopeless.

IWhy do I feel like I want to be hurt by him just so I can have him for some time? This is so dangerous. I feel like I need him. I don't need him. I want him, but I don't depend on him.

Tyde, you do not depend on Dan. Stupid idiot.

I couldn't sleep with him yet. I couldn't do that to myself.


How do you tell your new boyfriend that the last time you had sex, you were raped?

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