WALK

𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 -Misery

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐘

July 12, 2013

When I woke up the next morning and checked my phone there were more than 40 missed calls and 70 missed texts from my mom. I was so confused and worried that something bad happened. When I texted her back she told me to call her so I did.

"Mom?.."

"Cora.."

"..."

"Your brother is in the hospital.." she said her voice swelling up with tears.

"What happened???"

"He was on his way home from a soccer game and a car just hit him."

"Is he ok???"

"The doctors said he's in a coma and will shortly have to be put on life support..."

"Your dad and I are watching him right now, Cora he doesn't even look like himself. " she said breaking down into tears and dropping her phone.

I felt everything in my body go numb and I started crying, something in me was telling me the situation wasn't going to end well but for the sake of my brother I tried to have hope. I couldn't even speak when she said he didn't look himself. I heard my dad comforting her and saying everything was gonna be ok, he picked up the phone and took over for her.

"We're at UW medical center."

"I'm on way." I said clearing my throat.

I woke up Amir and told him what happened and I just started crying. He pulled me into a hug and I rested my head on his shoulder and cried.

"He's gonna be ok. I know he is."

"But what if he doesn't."

"I'll do everything in my power to make sure that you'll be ok then."

"I have to go."

I got out of the bed, got dressed and grabbed my keys to get in my car. On my way to the hospital I had to get out all more cry's and screams so I didn't go into the hospital and make my mom more nervous for my brothers life. I had to make a stop and pull over just to let out my cry's because I just couldn't drive like that. I eventually made it to the hospital and immediately asked for the hospital room of my brother. When the nurse escorted to me the room, I seen my brother just laying there. My mom was right. He didn't look like himself. He had a breathing tube sticking out of his mouth, a cast on his neck and his arms and legs were covered in casts. My mom ran up to me and hugged me still crying and I couldn't do anything but hug and cry back with her, my dad came over and hugged us both.

We all looked over at Noah and we knew he most likely wouldn't make it but we tried to have faith because he wouldn't want us to just think negative and give up on him but we were getting there. He was already in a coma which was a sign he would eventually have to go on life support since most people don't wake up from comas but I just had to have a feeling he was going to. After we all got our cries out we sat down and waited for him to at least open his eyes or an eye. The doctor told us only 2 of us could stay so my dad chose to let me and my mom stay with him. Amir asked to come visit so I let him and when he came he comforted me and my mother and gave us hope. He would visit every now and then to say hi to my brother and talk about how when he wakes up they're gonna play all the video games in the world, knowing he most likely couldn't hear him. It made me laugh a little and believe that Noah was gonna wake up and they were gonna play games all day.

Days went on and..

We waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited..

After we waited for days which turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. After coming and going to the hospital, hope left when he had a seizure one day and doctors ask if we wanted him to be put on life support. We knew he was gone but we needed to at least have his soul with us for a few extra days. On October 10th, 2013 my mom, me and my dad decided it was time to let him be free and play his video games in heaven in peace. So we pulled the plug. It was a hard day, we spent an extra 3 hours kissing Noahs forehead and holding his cold hand and telling him how much we love him. Amir came to visit again like he did almost every day.

On Noahs last day him and lucky came to visit Noah to say goodbye also. Amir told him to play all the new games for him in heaven. Amir had a bond with Noah since on most days when he would come over a Noah would take him from me to play video games. Their bond was a beautiful thing to see, it made me realize Amir was becoming a member of my family and the love of my life. After we did all the love bombing we could it was time to let him go. The doctor came in and asked if we wanted to be here for the process and we left the room. When we came back in the room the doctor told us since he can no longer breathe on his own, his heart will eventually stop by tomorrow or even in a few hours and he will be taken away to get a autopsy done on him. We accepted that he was gone and we left the hospital and let the doctors do the rest.

Amir walked up to me, gave a big hug, told me it'll get better and to take my time and then he left. I drove home with my parents since I came with them and I sat in the back and cried the whole way home. When we made it home I knew I had to walk past his room to get to mine so I just stayed downstairs in the living room because I knew I wasn't ready for that stage yet. I went on the couch and cried myself to sleep while my parents had no choice but to go to their room. I heard my mom fall to her knees when she looked at his door and she just started screaming. I stayed on the couch and cried while my dad helped my mom up and they both sat in their room and cried. I eventually went to sleep from all the crying I did and when I woke up i saw Amir texted me.

________________________________________________

Amir

Amir
*8:53*Cora are you ok?
Amir
*9:27*I know you're busy grieving right now but I just want you to know I'm here for you.
Amir
*9:51*I really hope you take your time with things.
Amir
*10:21* I just want you to know that I love you.

________________________________________________

When I saw the I love you words my heart dropped but I didn't have time to process it since my brother was most of my mind at that time. I texted him back and told him "we need to talk".