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𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
March 2, 2014
Months had passed since we'd last talked, even texted. I was honestly hurt and I didn't think he would do that. I understand the phone works both ways but I was going through something and he knew that, I didn't wanna make him the bad guy but he kinda was. He promised me we would talk and that he wouldn't let me or time go and he did.
I didn't get a Merry Christmas, a Happy New year, not even a Happy Birthday. I think the Christmas hurt the most because he didn't think to check to see how I was doing on my first Christmas without my brother. On New Year's I did call him to see if something had happened to him since his mom didn't even know me to tell me if something happened to him. She knew I existed because he had told her about me before but we never talked before.
On New Year's he didn't answer, on the second of January he didn't answer and I even called him in the middle of September of last year which he answered but said he was "busy sorry" and hung up. I was praying and hoping he didn't blow me off but it was looking like it. I was taken back tho since I never knew him to be let along seem like someone to do that, but unfortunately it was happening. I was trying my hardest to stick it out and not talk to him but it was hard since I grew attached to him quickly.
I tried to call him on January 3rd but he in fact didn't answer again. I felt like something was seriously wrong because I refused to believe he would do me like that so I kept up the calling up. After a few more declines I gave up. I knew if he was hurt it would eventually come out but I started crying at the fact of thinking he was hurt or even dead.
He did express to me over the time we had together that he dealt with random mental issues and was mentally ill. One moment he would be ok then he would go ghost due to his mental health. I excepted him for who he was tho. In my head I knew we moved fast and maybe he wanted to take a step back. I literally gave him my virginity a month into talking.
I wanted to feel like I gave it up to fast and he got what he wanted and now he was leaving me but I knew he did too much for me for that to have just been his motive. He came to the hospital to see my brother, met my parents and they liked him, I almost met his mother, he loved Noah and lucky and mostly importantly it felt like he loved me.
Him saying he loved me also a month into our thing was surprisingly good to me, because I truly felt like I loved him back for some reason. But did I know the reason? I did. In a matter of months he managed to show me more love than most people I'd known since I was a baby who were my family had showed me. It overwhelmed me but at the same time made me feel secure.
