Finding Home

Chapter Twenty-Nathan

**Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions and depictions of pregnancy loss. There is a summary of the important events of the chapter at the bottom. Please scroll down to get the SparkNotes.**

"Was the baby mine Paige?" He asked her.  He knew what the answer was. He knew it was his but he still needed her to say it.

"Yes." She breathed, barely more than a whisper. "Yes he was yours."

"He?" Nathan let out. "We were going to have a son?" She simply nodded. "Why- why didn't you tell me?" A flurry of emotions was flowing through him. Sadness mixed with anger mixed with regret.

"I didn't know where you were, I had no way of finding you. And now-"

"And now what? Where you ever going to tell me?"

"I didn't see what difference it would make.

"You didn't see what difference-? Paige, I had a son, we had a son and you didn't think to tell me?" Anger was taking over now. How could she not tell him? How could she keep something this big from him?

"It happened, it's in the past." She spoke quietly. "I handled it. I didn't think you'd-"

"You didn't think I'd what? Want to know?"

"I didn't want you to feel more guilty than you already do. I don't-" she broke down, unable to keep it together anymore.

"Oh Paige." He said, the anger he was feeling quickly evaporated at her tears. He quickly crossed the room and gathered her into his arms, holding her close as she cried. He told himself he was doing it to comfort her, but really he needed her to comfort him. This past week had been awful not having her near. All he wanted to do was sweep her off her feet but all he had done was push her further away. When he told her yesterday, he thought for a moment that everything would be okay. Then she yelled at him he realized how much of an inconsiderate jerk he had been.

Of course finding her wolf would mean so much more for her than it would be for him. It was a total game changer. Everything she had worked the last ten years for would be thrown into chaos. He picked her up and carried her to the couch. Holding her to his chest they cried together. For the child they would never know, for the years they had loss, for the fear that this might not work and they would have to say goodbye again.

When their tears had stopped, they still sat together. Patrick had mind-linked him to ask what was going on but he just sent back a "Not now!" And cut the link. Locked in her embrace Nathan had felt more at peace than he had in the last five years. The had to find a way to make this work. They had to wake her wolf up. If they didn't and she left again, he wouldn't survived. Patrick was right to be worried.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He asked.

"Not really, but you deserve to know." She took a deep breath. "It took me a bit longer then it should have for me to realize that I was pregnant. After you left, I went to London and was staying in a hostel while looking for somewhere to live. Things were a bit chaotic and I didn't realize my period was late. I thought that maybe it was just because of the stress. My period was never super regular so I wasn't worried. I found a flat and some flatmates. One of them was Lennette, actually. Remember her?" She pulled her head up off his chest to look at him.

"How could I forget? I think she hated me more than you did."

"Well you were a complete and total ass in the beginning." She chuckled, she looked down at her hands and Nathan wished she'd put her head on his chest again. "Anyways, I got sick I thought it was just a stomach bug but when it didn't let up she made me go to the doctor. They did a test and then I knew. When I was less than thrilled at the news they asked if I wanted to terminate." Nathan stilled. The thought that Paige would terminate the pregnancy was a shot to his heart. Werewolves generally frowned on abortion and while he supported a woman's right to choose, he couldn't stomach the thought.