Panic stricken ~ Skysolo

Chapter 9- I said yes

Luke's pov:

The next morning I was sat opposite Leia again as we ate our breakfast. "So how was the conference yesterday?" I asked while I cut up my food.

Leia finished chewing then smiled, "Better than the first I suppose. We have swayed a few more people but some still need convincing. We need a 75 50 vote to win and with how it's going right now that's not going to happen." She explained. I nodded my head like I understood.

"I don't know much about politics but I'm sure you will be fine." I gestured to her with my fork. "You are Leia Organa after all." I smiled.

She rolled her eyes and laughed. She then quickly changed the subjects, "Oh! I was going to ask you Luke, is it alright if me and Han go to dinner tonight?" She asked, "After my conference of course."

"Yes of course? He's your fiancé do what you want with him." I joked. I also do what I want with him and that was the problem. I couldn't stop thinking about last night mainly because I could actually remember it.

"Is that alright with you Han?" She asked looking to the right.

"Hm?" Han's head snapped up and he looked up from his lap slightly dazed.

"Would you like to go to dinner tonight?" She repeated again slightly louder.

He quickly nodded, "That sounds lovely dear." And turned his attention back to his food. To say I didn't feel jealous when he said that to Leia instead of me would be a complete lie. I was practically green. However Han seemed on another planet, he wasn't really present in our conversations this morning.

Leia rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to me, "This man ay?" She asked the looked at him as he drifted off into his own little world, "Always looks like he wants to do something else." Or someone else...

Time skip brought to you by how funny I am.
~;~;~;~

Han and Leia had gone to their dinner and I was now left all alone in my hotel room. The room smelt disgusting but not in the sense that it had an odour but these smells now have connotations with everything I've done with Han. That smell is truly disgusting.

I feel so much regret for everything I have done and yet I keep doing it. Every time I tell myself this is the last time I am lying under him again. I know Leia will find out eventually. We will slip up. And I just know that the longer we keep doing this the worse it's going to be, the angrier she will be.

I paced around the room taking in every aspect. Our clothes were all in piles on the floor. Partly because Han lives like a pig and the other because we have done it so many times in this room we have gotten too lazy to pick it all up.

The bedsheet was completely messed up and you couldn't tell where the end was. The pillows were crumpled and the ones on Han's side had fallen off. There were black marks on the wall from where the headboard had scraped it.

This room was living breathing sex and it made me feel sick. It was disgusting. It reminded me of everything I had done. I had to clean it up. If I clean it then I am washing away everything, I can start over and never do anything like this with him again. I'll sleep outside for all I care.

I began by making the bed, it already looked so much better. I picked up the clothes from the floor (even Han's) and either packed them or put them away. I couldn't really do anything about the headboard mark though.

While I was cleaning it began to grow colder so I quickly threw on one of Han's jackets over my evening clothes. It couldn't hurt right? It was kind of like exposure therapy I suppose.

I was cleaning deep into the night until Han came back. He walked in looking slightly fazed and distracted. While I was wiping down a surface I raised my head, "Han? Are you alright?" I asked.

He was dazed and stumbled into the room sitting down on the bed, "Leia... asked to marry me." He said plainly not looking at me.

I nodded, "Yes? She did that quite a while ago now Han?" What was he getting to. They were already engaged.

"No you don't understand. She wants to get married." He said. I tilted my head in confusion. "She wants to get married soon. She wants to marry me here, on Coruscant, after all her conferences are done." He looked up at me in slight horror.

I stopped and joined him sitting opposite him, "Ah, I see. And what did you say?"

"I said yes."

My heart shattered on the spot. I don't know why I ever thought there was hope for something between me and Han but it had grown inside of me and now hand been pulled from the ground like a stubborn weed. "Well there you go then." I bit back tears.

"But what about everything that we did?" He asked.

"Your the one who said it didn't matter Han." I replied.

"Yes because we did it one time. But now... now I've probably done it with you more than I have kissed Leia." He said.

"Well then stop sleeping with me!" I shouted. I quickly calmed myself though and said, "No sorry I... that was wrong of me. It's not just your fault it's mine too."

"What will we do?" He asked looking up at me expectantly.

"I... I don't know." I replied looking down at the bed.

There was a prolonged silence when he finally spoke up, "Is that my jacket?" He asked looking me up and down. His disappointed face slowly morphing into a smirk.

"Yes. I got cold?" I said plainly.

He rolled his eyes, "Sure you were 'just cold'" he laughed, "Your practically begging for me. Just lie down." He smiled and began shuffling on top of me.

The guilt and regret seeped into my bones again but did I let that stop me? No I did not. I willingly obliged and the whole cycle started again.

1067 words
BRO!

I'm mad at my own story.