Your Teeth In My Neck

New Era

The sick feeling didn't seem to go away.

She slipped into the store and already felt guilty. She knew what was behind the counter, she knew what she needed to do. People were still taking inventory. She realized as she walked down the aisle how truly invisible she really was to the people around her. No one greeted or acknowledged. She just passed by them into the pharmaceuticals like a ghost. She didn't make any hasty movements she just took every single blue little box and put them innocently in her tote, then started for the exit. She felt Cassandra's eyes on her but she seemingly made no move to stop her leaving. Maggie had almost cleared the parking lot when the other girl caught up to her.

"Not now Cassandra." Maggie said, walking faster from the store.

"You're scared, I get it just let me help you."

They stood face to face.

"You want to help me?" Maggie looked around and then grabbed Cassandra's hand pulling her away from the town.

"Why were you trying to steal all the plan B?"

"Because it's the only fucking plan left!" Maggie screamed. She stopped, "I don't know what he'll do." The silence was deafening, "Help me then."

"How?"

"How about starting with not telling anyone?"

"I can do that." Cassandra tried to keep eye contact, but she saw there was something violent coming to the surface, "But the pills don't work like that. It'll hurt you and it won't change anything." She shook her hand free. Maggie glanced around, they were away from prying eyes at least, "He's hurting you enough you really want to give him one more win?"

Maggie scoffed, "You organize women's groups and make small talk about being scared but none of you are actually scared."

"We're all terrified Ma-"

"You never said a word to me Cassandra! Not once. I do not exist to you, to any of you! My mother was abusing me, abusing drugs and going out every single night of the week with anyone desperate enough to fuck her after my father died and you all knew! It was just this kind of joke in the back of everyone's heads but no one, not one of you holier than thou so called roll models, ever once acknowledged my existence until I met him!" She didn't realize there were tears streaming down her face until Cassandra got blurry, "Now the only reason you even pretend to care is because you want to get at him, you want to make me out as this victim that you saved just to help the narrative of who you are but you know what Cassandra?" She stepped forward threateningly, "I'm the only person in this entire place that can save you from him." She stepped back and breathed, the world was spinning out, she dropped the bag she was holding, "You're right, if I'm pregnant I'm pregnant."

On the way home her period started.

Maggie was in bed for a couple days with debilitating cramps. The worst of her life, no amount of drugs made it better. Campbell laid beside her in bed while she withered in agony. He looked at her in a new unfathomable way, kissed her forehead and stroked her hair but barely offered a word, wheels spinning a million miles away.

A week passed with a chill in the air. Campbell was out most of the time at work and when he was home he seemed distracted. Then one day he came home and wrapped his arms around her as she stood at the sink. He breathed her in and kissed the back of her neck.

"Hey so I was thinking..." Maggie said while finishing up the dishes.

"Never a good sign." Campbell kissed her on the back of the head and put his arms around her. His phone beeped in his pocket. She swivelled around to meet his eyes.