For Now, For Good

4. - Present Day

"Sooo" Jade hesitates, "I may have done something a little crazy"

I pause mid scoop in my cocopops.

It'd been just under a week since my 'not so stood up, stand up' date fail with Lando. I told myself I was getting over it, but truthfully, I was in this sort of funk, and it just left me feeling like we had this unfinished business.

"What'd you do?" I ask, my mind travelling to a million different places, because this is Jade we are talking about, and she's just about capable of everything.

She regretfully excuses herself from the breakfast bar before making her way over to her purse, ruffling through its contents until she finally pulls out a folded up piece of paper.

Walking back over to me, holding the folded secret tightly against her chest, she has regret and remorse written all over her face.

"What is this?" I ask as I'm handed the piece of paper before we retreats to her seat.

"I kind of just did it on a whim and I know I probably should have spoken to you about it, but you've just been so sad" she explains as I skim read the contents of what I can now recognise as tickets.

Paddock tickets.

To this weekends race.

"Jade" I gasp.

"I know, but, I just think you owe it to yourself to give it more than just one shot. Go and see for yourself if things have changed, and if not, at least we get to have a girls day out" she suggests.

A mixture of feelings radiate through me, the biggest one is dread. I picture everything just going wrong and he ends up laughing in my face.

"B, say something, please"

"We can't go" I whisper. "Jade,  no" I shake my head. 

'Why not?" she asks, moving her placement so she is now seated next to me.

"He'll think I'm, like, stalking him?" I utter.

She gives me a sarcastic look, "There's like 100 thousand people who go, chances are he won't even see you" she mocks.

I hold the tickets up toward her, "So, why the tickets then?" I tease.

She plucks them out of my hands, a proud look on her face, "Because there's still a chance that he might"

I consider her offer, although I feel like I don't exactly have a choice.

"It's only the race day, B. What's the worst-case scenario?"

"A restraining order" I deadpan.

"Ha Ha" she sarcasms, "Not likely. Come on, it'll be a fun day out, and I've seen you checking out his socials every day since the restaurant incident"

I can feel the embarrassment flush to my face, "Just race day?" I confirm

Her face lights up immediately, "Just race day"

"Okay" I agree, "But we are hiding in the back"

Throwing the tickets across the table in succession, she chirps "Yep, sure, whatever you say"

4. - A Year Ago (the fourth hour) 

 Lando and I have been aimlessly walking the streets of Melbourne for the past hour and have successfully covered every single topic that two people could possibly conversed over, and yet it still doesn't feel like we've run out of things to talk about.

"You wouldn't continue if you didn't get a seat?" I ask him.

We've been talking racing for a while; I was completely clueless before this talk and now I feel like I could be one of his pit crew. "I know I should have the drive and hunger to continue, I get that, and I think I still do. I'm not entirely sure if it's just because these past few months have been absolutely horrendous, I think I've just lost that spark for it. And there is no way I'll get a seat over Charles" Lando confesses.

"What does he have that you haven't?" I question.

Lando scoffs in amusement, "A lot right now"

"Okay" I ponder, "Besides a better car right now, surely the Formula 1 teams need to consider your skill and talent over what the car is giving you, right?"

"You'd think so, but I don't know. I just have this feeling. And nearly every race, someone is there, someone important that holds the power in giving you a future in the sport, but they're never looking at me, all eyes are always on Charles" he sounds so defeated.

"I'm sure not all eyes" I try and joke, attempting to bring him a little happiness.

Lando finds this amusing, "Oh no, see that's where you're wrong as well, every woman at that paddock is screaming his name" he mocks.

"Show me a picture" I insist as Lando pulls his phone out from his pocket.

"Geez, it's almost midnight" he gasps, whilst clicking on his albums, pulling up a picture of he and another guy I can only assume is Charles. "That's him"

I consider it, purposefully long to build the tension.

"Nope" I shake my head, "I don't see it. I wouldn't be one of those girls"

"Are you saying you'd be screaming my name then, Baylee?" he mocks.

I turn back, continuing my steps backwards so I'm facing him, "I didn't say that either" I chuckle.

He playfully holds his hands against his chest as if he's just taken a bullet to the heart, "That was mean"

I giggle as I turn back the right way, continuing our walk down the Yarra Riverbank. "I don't think you should give it up out of fear"

"It's not that I'm scared" he corrects, "Gosh, you shouldn't be in the sport if you're frightened, I think I just start to question what I'm doing it for, you know"

I nod my head, although I don't really have anything in my life to compare to it like he does, but for some reason Finn pops into my mind.

"Are you getting tired?" he asks.

"No" I reply, "Are you?"

He shakes his head with a smile on his face, "I kind of never want this night to end actually"

His confession makes me smile, "I don't either."