To My Duke, Dearest| j. kirschtein

xx. Little Nothings

Barn owls had once again started their night-cries. It felt close of a custom here, in Trost grounds. Their hoots would flood the passages and hinges within the doors, breathing space into the fitful and disturbed sleep of those who slept within the palace. They were common place, they were constant, they were steadfast. They did not fluctuate between loyalties and struggle to determine where exactly their heart lie. They did not deter from their ingrained morals, they did not change the course of nature, they did not question the truth. They knew their place, they were established in their choices and refused to change. That was life, was it not?

Your uncertainties were unanswered as you lugged Porco on your arm and stepped out into the evening springtime air of the outdoors. It still held its chill that was reminiscent of the winter, and you shuddered in your sleeveless gown with your lack of shawl.

 Immediately, the goosefelsh of your skin was raised, making you feel like a threatened cat that had raised its hackles. Internally, you did feel like that. Bitter and petty about having to cut your time with the prince short, unable to remove the image of pure delight in his sculpted face as he pushed through the crowd of multiple courters, just to be in your presence.

That twinkle of burning curiosity and mystery was reflected in the sparkling of the stars above the two of you. If you raised your finger, you could lace and trace their movements and hold them together. The was something in the brilliance of the twilight sky, it possessed a flirtatious and fleeting aura that teased the collection of suitors that constantly awaited its arrival, only to blush from beneath its suspicious curtain of night before vanishing with its paramour, Dusk.

Within the air, you could smell the smoked timber from the fires that were blooming in the hearths of the servants who had been granted some hours of rest. Inside their resting rooms, you could detect the flickering of their candles as they huddled near the only sense of heat, their faces still alight with a sense of joy and contentment that could not be bought from anywhere. A sense of joy and contentment that you had ever longed for. All that was left was emptiness. And for some reason, you could understand why Dusk coveted the Twilight so greatly, why it latched on like a teething babe, and refused to release its hold.

Biting your lip to combat the shivers that continued to drain the warmth you had been surrounded with in Jean's touch like bitter mint, you groaned in frustration as Porco fumbled somewhere behind you, trailing from your touch every few seconds. Prioritising your feelings of irritation was much better than admitting to the guilt festering in your gut. Besides, what exactly did you have to feel guilty for? It was not your fault the regime of Trost Palace did not require his lingering presence for every activity you participated in.

"Porco!" You barked, dragging his heavy body in the direction of his room.

Despite the fact he was faltering and his upper body was swaying, like a tree bothered by he wind, just a few moments ago, he kept his feet firmly planted to the ground, making a stubborn toddler of a grown man. Gritting your teeth in vexation, you yanked at his practically lifeless arm, only to slip backwards and have your elbows hit the grass. An indescribable not feeling touched body, the dull ringing of something excruciatingly heavy hitting rubber, only to have an ineffective result.

Roaring laughter was your response as you scrambled form the floor, the blonde's cheeks now not just flushed from alcohol but from a humour that you found yourself the jester of. The sudden sound made the owls skittish as they fluttered from their coves and crooks in the spindly wood of the still lifeless trees, still hooting and crying in an agitated flurry of feathers and confusion. Fearing that he would arouse the attention of more than just the birds, you quickly rose from the floor, shoving Porco's stubborn frame. Drunkenness was not what you associated with a man as principled as him, what had changed?