Death By A Thousand Cuts

I'll wait

As I was about to knock the door swung open.

"Y/n?" Emily looked at me surprised.

"Hey, I'm sorry where you about to go-" my sentence was cut short by her lips connecting to mine. I melted into her like all those times before. The peppermint chapstick and hint of whiskey on her lips brought a blissful nostalgia of when we were perfect.

   "I'm sorry" she pulled away.

 I smiled happily, 

   "I was actually hoping we could talk?"

I watched relief and hopefulness wash over her face.

  "of course, come in" she stepped aside giving me room to enter.  

We stood about six feet apart, waiting for the other to make the first move. I took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. 

  "I'll wait forever." I said softly.

  "what?"

  "that's what I said, that night in our apartment. I told you I would wait forever" I could feel the lump in my throat as I spoke. "and I just wanted to tell you that..." I paused biting the inside of my cheek, a long time nervous habit of mine. "That nothing has changed since that night. I'll wait Emily. And if that's a life time fine. But I wanted you to know that there will never come a day when you won't cross my mind. Not one. And I don't believe in 'too late' because if there is any reality, any universe, any life, where I can be with you, it will be well worth it." I inhaled sharply before starting again, "I wish I could have done things differently four years ago. I wish I hadn't pushed you away, because ever since you left all I could think about was how badly... how I would give anything to hear you say you loved me once more."

She stared at me, tears in her eyes.

"Y/n" she started.

"Emily, you don't have to say anything right now. I just, I hope you can think it over. And if you decide you don't want me that way anymore, that's okay, I can accept that. But I just want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me, but I want you, sorry, I need you to know there will always be a place for you in my life. However you want it to look"

She took a few steps towards me and grabbed my hand.

"I'll wait forever, that's what you said" she looked into my eyes, agreeing with my previous statement, "but if I remember correctly, I told you the same thing," her voice was so gentle and I knew and in that moment I remembered exactly why my heart belonged to her. "June 8th. 11:20 pm I told you I'd wait for you. And somewhere down the line I messed up. But that doesn't mean I ever stopped wanting you, loving you, caring for you."

Tears spilled without me even trying to stop them.

"why did you push me away?" I whispered.

"I wish I could give you a valid answer. But, being scared of how deeply I love you isn't a good one."

"Its' an explanation Emily, that was all I wanted."

I threw my arms around her and pulled her into me. A moment I had been waiting far too long for. 

   "I love you Emily Prentiss" I whispered into her ear. 

   "I love you more Y/n Y/l/n" 

   "hey, I thought we agreed not to do that 'I love you more' stuff" I chuckled. 

   "well, I guess I just can't help it. I have an opportunity to say it, so I'm saying it" 

She kissed me with an urgency I don't think I could ever fully articulate. It was even more than need at this point. We both craved one another in a way so foreign to any descriptive words. 

   "Y/n?" she asked while breaking the kiss for a moment.

   "Yes?" 

   "Would you stay here, with me tonight?" 

   "I was under the impression that was a given" I gave her a wide smile and she kissed me again.  

   "wait," she paused. 

   "what's wrong?" 

   "Y/n, I-I need to know, did you sleep with Aaron?" her voice was worried and I had deep down been hoping she wouldn't have asked me that question tonight. However, she deserved to know, even if it hurt. 

   "Yes. We slept together once. The night you and I fought." I said shamefully. 

   "Why" her voice broke. 

   "There isn't any valid reason Emily" I started to cry again. 

   "try" she insisted. 

   "I- I guess I was desperate for anything to get my mind off of you and unfortunately Aaron was the first person to do that" I confessed, feeling an unsettling amount of guilt. "I'm not trying to make excuses for my actions Emily, I don't want you to think that. I know what I did wasn't right." 

   "Maybe" she agreed. "but I've done plenty of stupid shit to ease my mind when in reality the only thing that could was you...." 

    "I don't have feelings for him though, not like I do with you" 

   "but you have feelings?" she asked slightly taken off guard. 

   "I mean, I care about him, but in the same way I care about everyone on the team you know" 

She nodded her head in silence. 

   "I'm sorry it's just a lot to process" she whispered. 

   "you don't have anything to be sorry about Em" 

   "If I hadn't pushed you away you never would have ended up in bed with him Y/n, I can't necessarily be upset about the domino effect that my actions had" 

   "Stop it. It was in no way your fault. I'm an adult who made a decision. The right one? No. But I unfortunately can't go back in time. I can only move forward..." I stopped for a moment to make sure she was looking at me. "and I'm really hoping I'm going to be moving forward with you by my side" 

    "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else" she smiled and continued kissing me. 

Before long we were making out on the bed and her hands were roaming my body, almost like it was the first time she had ever touched me. 

   "are you sure?" she asked concerned. 

   "I want you, and only you Emily Prentiss, so please trust me when I say that, I'm sure." 

She returned her lips to my neck and began unbuttoning my shirt. I shivered at the feeling of her skin against mine. 

   "I've missed you" she whispered before sliding my blouse down my shoulders. "and if you want, I'd like to prove it to you?" 

My eyes were dark with yearning, she was a necessity that couldn't go unaddressed. I absolutely, without a doubt, needed her in a way similar to oxygen. 

   "what are you waiting for?" I smirked. 

Sorry it's so short but you all get a little cliff hanger, or something to look forward to in the next chapter <3