safeword

fourteen

Touya rolls out of bed with a beating headache. He couldn't have slept for more than three hours - it was still dark outside. Life was quiet.

To his left, your chin is buried deep in the crook of Keigo's neck, trying to chase his warmth as he sleeps with parted lips. Keigo doesn't snore, but his breaths are so deep and mindless that it teeters on the edge. Still, in his unconscious state, he holds you so close you would be able to hear the blood in his veins.

Touya is thankful for you. He does not enjoy cuddling - not anymore, at least.

It felt like suffocation. A slow death. Or, maybe Keigo just held him too tight.

With his feet on the warmed wooden floors, Touya takes a breath. He can't see through the darkness, but he has stumbled to the on-suite bathroom in the middle of the night more times than he can count. It's become easily second nature.

Flipping the switch, Touya holds his eyes closed for a minute - brain thrumming deep in his skull. Immediately, he regrets the decision, but not enough to turn it back off. His bladder was sending sharp, shooting pains through his abdomen - he couldn't focus on anything but bunching his sweats just past his hips and relieving himself.

When he's finished, the toilet flushes and he makes his way towards the sink. Though his eyes have adjusted to the dull yellow light, his head still throbs, and he'd do anything for a tiny white pill to take it away. He trusts Keigo's collection of prescription and non-prescription medications well enough to grab the first pain-relieving case he sees from the small hoard under the sink. He has to kneel to grab it, and every single move deems his head more and more sensitive.

"Fuck," Touya mutters - clumsy hands letting the bottle free as he stands up. Obnoxiously, it falls against the porcelain of the sink and into the trash bin at the side. Half-empty, it sits atop loose paper and discarded, but clean-enough tissue. He reaches down to grab it.

Then, it slides deeper into the bin. Touya wants to set it all ablaze.

Kneeling once more, he fumbles about until his fingers hit something solid in the mass of padding. Looking at his prize, it's not exactly what he wanted - quite the opposite, it seems as he brings it to his face.

It's a pregnancy test.

Touya genuinely believes he has stopped breathing.

It must have been dated, given the result was faded into practically nothing, but he could make out one solid line. He didn't know what that meant. What he did know, as he walked back into the bedroom with a fire under his step, was that he needed an answer. He wanted the truth.

"Get up." Touya makes sure to keep his voice quiet enough to stir you but not to bother Keigo. A few beats pass, and you're still motionless in bed.

"Hey,"

"Wha- what –" you sit up, facing the opposite wall. Your voice is husky with sleep, and your eyes haven't opened yet, but you can feel a hand over your side, shaking you awake. "What?"

"Come here. Come on."

You turn around, eyes squeezed shut as you try to come alive. It's been a night of drinking for you too, and you were in the middle of a blissful dream. This wake-up call felt like you were being doused in ice water.

"Shh, come on."

Touya keeps the test in his hand, at his side. When you finally do open your eyes and blink up at him, his expression is uncanny - stone-like and unfriendly. You assumed he had been woken up poorly too.

"What? Where?" Your voice stirs Keigo enough for him to shift next to you - burying his face deeper into the pillows to ward off the disturbance.

"Don't wake him up. Come on." Touya uses his free hand, taking hold of your shoulder to guide you off of the bed. "Yeah - come on."