I didn't want to lose your Greek appearance,
I didn't want to spend my youth in vain;
I can pursue my dreams and glance behind
To think about achievements and forbearance
And make my mind regret and heart – to pain...
An imminent outcome of being blind.
But even humans quitted paradise
To build a paradise on barren earth;
And such a high and costly was that price –
The everlasting, ever-thriving curse –
For the forthcoming of a greater worth:
The happiness was dearer than tranquillity:
The human soul seeks mutability.
I'm Ameinias in despair self-stabbing.
I am a fountain of the palpitation.
I am a phantom of appreciation,
Unrealized and secret and unebbing.
I thought I was a metal Nordic god,
But turned to be an ash, pierced with a sword –
It will be covered with no stain of blood,
But with a coat of bitter acid dust
From the cremated sentiments and lust
To a chromatic and a faceless chord.
Your curls are inky patterns on my will,
Which calligraph the space above my bed.
Your tender fingers, which will never get
A lonely flower, languorous and still,
For that depressive and that sullen lot
Where I was singing silent Liebestod.
I will reshape the splinters of my heart
To have it cured and cared at the divine's.
Despair outgrows, despondency sublimes
To ever-lasting, ever-thriving art.
09-28-2023
