Forever Yours

chapter thirty-five

Four Months Later

It was a long drive home. Five hours felt like twenty. It's like this: I'm ready to see Joel, but I'm also terrified. I missed him so much. But then again, what if he's different? What if college has changed him? I know I'm a little different. In most ways good. Like, for example, Mia and I have made some new friends. My first new friends in almost five years. But I'm still not over Joel.

I went on only one date in the first four months of college and although he was really great, I couldn't do it. It may be another four months or even years before I try again.

Joel's also become distant, texting every day and one call a day turned into only once a week, and then to no communication at all. I try to text him and call, but he doesn't usually answer. I try not to feel too bad about it. I know he's busy with football and classes, that's what he says at least. But I don't know what else he's been doing, and it kills me. Has he made new friends? Has he been on dates?

I try to get these thoughts out of my head as Mia and I arrive in Portland. I look over at her and she's sleeping. "Wake up," I tell her, "We're almost home."

She slowly wakes, then says, "It feels good to be home!" She looks at me and smiles. "You ready to see Joel?"

I sigh, "I think so."

"You think so?"

"I'm just scared he's going to be different."

"That's not gonna happen Lo. He's going to be the same Joel you know and love. I promise." She holds my hand the rest of the way to her house.

It's Christmas break. Mia and I didn't get to go home for Thanksgiving because we were really busy with classes, and there was a lot of snow, but it was mostly because I didn't want to see Joel just yet. But Christmas break is something I can't get out of.

I drop Mia off at home, then make the journey to mine. I pull into the driveway fifteen minutes later. My heart starts pounding like crazy. I'm nervous. And I shouldn't be. I mean, I've known Joel for years, he was my boyfriend, he's my stepbrother. I shouldn't be this nervous. I just have this off feeling.

I grab my suitcase out of the trunk and head for the front door. Once I open the door, Zeus comes up to me, tail wagging. He's so happy to see me. I pat him on the head and shut the door.

"Willow is that you?" Dad questions. I can hear him in the dining room. It's late so they're probably already having dinner.

"Yeah! It's me. I'll be in there in a second." I unlace my combat boots and set them next to everyone else's shoes in the front closet. I see an unfamiliar pair of pink ballet flats. I have a bad feeling, but maybe they're just Connie's. But then, I hear an unfamiliar girl laugh from the dining room.

My stomach drops. No. It can't be. I walk in the dining room to see my worst fear come true. Joel has his arm around the back of my chair, where a blonde girl resides. They are turned the other way, so they don't see me at first.

Dad sees me first, "Willow, honey! Welcome back!"

At the mention of my name, Joel whips his head around, as does his girl friend. Is that all she is? Of course not, that has to be a girlfriend. My heart rips apart. She's gorgeous.

I don't have much time to look at her though because Joel gets up and wraps me in a hug. He lifts me up off the ground and spins me around. I can't help but smile and hug him back. "Lo!" he says before setting me down.

Then, I finally get a good look at this girl. She stands up from the table too. She's tall, taller than me, but about the same height as Joel. She has long, straight, blonde hair that goes down to her lower back. She's skinny, probably a size two. Whereas I'm now a twelve. She has ocean blue eyes and a bright white smile. Her cheekbones are nice and defined, and she has this perfect little nose. She's wearing dress pants and a pink blouse. I'm wearing my old Ramones T-shirt and black ripped skinny jeans. We're polar opposites.