Forever Yours

chapter thirty-four

"Moving truck is here Willow!" Dad calls from downstairs. I'm in my room, lying on my nicely made bed, preparing for the day. Connie and Joel are here with their stuff. They are finally moving in with us. Weird. I've always wanted to be closer to Joel, but this is not what I had in mind.

I hop up from my bed and head downstairs. Dad and Connie are in the kitchen talking and making sweet tea, so I decide to go help Joel outside. The first thing I notice is how he looks. He's in a tight athletic shirt and short shorts. His muscles ready to rip the thin fabric of his shirt. Oh my god! Stop with the dirty thoughts Willow. That's your stepbrother. Yeah, I know, you don't have to remind me.

I walk up to him and say, "Hey."

He turns around and says, "Hey Lo! Damn you look hot." I'm wearing gray biker shorts, a white tank top, and my hair is in a half up, half down ponytail.

I smack him playfully on the shoulder, "You can't say things like that anymore."

"You're right. Sorry. Give me a hand with this?" he asks, referring to his mattress. We take the mattress upstairs, struggling along the way. We laugh about how Joel slipped coming up the stairs and the mattress almost came tumbling down on him.

Things with Joel and me are different, but also kind of the same. Yes, we're stepbrother and sister, and we're no longer dating. But how we act and the love we have for each other is the same. We just can't act on the love anymore. It's not okay, but I'm learning to live with it.

I still love Joel, and I'm sure he still loves me too. I think a part of us will always love each other. That's what happens when you fall in love. You get attached and the heart holds on to that attachment and love forever.

We prop up the mattress against the wall in his room because we still need to bring up his bed frame. Then, all four of us get to work. We bring in some of Connie and Joel's furniture first. But most of it had to go in storage for now, just until we can have a garage sale. Then we bring up boxes of little things and clothes until we're just about done.

After all the moving is over with, we cool off out in the backyard with some sweet tea. Connie and Dad are play fighting about how Dad accidentally ruined one of her paintings. It was a really big one and they were struggling to carry it. Connie dropped it and Dad tried to catch it. But his fist ended up going right through the canvas. She hated it, so she wasn't actually that mad. We all laugh about it now.

Sitting here, I look around at these three people and no longer see my dad and his girlfriend. And I no longer see my boyfriend. I see my forever family. And it hurts but fills me with joy at the same time. I want to be with Joel more than anything else in this world, but I'll just have to take him anyway I can. A stepbrother is good enough, I guess.

I was thinking about it earlier and realized that I will know Joel forever, no matter what way. I'll see him at Thanksgiving's and Christmas's. And when we get back from college, we'll probably live in this house a little bit longer. Eventually we will move out and go our separate ways, but he will always be my family. He's my stepbrother for the rest of my life.

I look over at him, he's laughing at something Dad said. Oh, how I love that laugh. And that smile, and those twinkling blue eyes. He looks over at me and smiles. How am I ever going to get over him?

It's the end of summer, the day before I leave for Gonzaga to be exact. Summer went by fast. I mostly hung out with Joel, Mia, and Hank. We went to the beach, and the movies, and parties. We had a blast. Hanging out with Joel is much harder now. We're not a couple anymore. I must tell myself that at least five times a day.