It will always be you (Shouta Aizawa x OC)

I tried

A/N: Hello! As some of you read, this story will be talking about drug use. As much as I wish to restrict this story for a mature audience, I know there will be some young readers here. For many reasons, I will not be going into detail when any character uses substances. It will be vague when a character is using drugs. Thank you!

The rest of the week went by ok. I was eating lunch with Midnight, and other staff that were making me feel welcome. The highlight was seeing how Midoriya's hero outfit looked like All Might and I couldn't stop laughing about it. Aizawa wasn't talking to me, let alone even looking at me. Everytime I walk in the same room as him, he will leave. I will sit at the same table, he will move. It's not like I was expecting to salvage our friendship, but him acting cold towards me was definitely taking a toll on me. I feel mad at myself, because I shouldn't be wanting attention from a man who blew me off like I was nobody. Like if we weren't childhood friends that grew into something amazing.

I went for a stroll to the convincing store after work. It was Friday and we didn't have school tomorrow, which I was grateful for. I brought some beers, cigarettes and some snacks to enjoy my night of binge watching tv. Everyone is busy either with work, or other personal commitments. The weather was getting colder and the clouds looked darker. I picked up my pace to get home before the rain came until I heard a cry.

I turn to my side and I see a young girl no older than 4 years old. It seems that she fell down. A woman ran towards her and picked her up. "Mommy my knee hurts!" the girl cried out. "It's ok, sweetheart. Mommy is here." The mother rubbed the girl's knee and sang a lullaby while doing so. "Better?" "Yes! Thank you mommy!" The girl's tears disappeared and hugged her mom back. "Oh no! It seems like the rain caught us! Let's go home." The mother takes off her scarf and wraps it over the girl's neck. The mom opens her umbrella covering herself and the little girl.

I stood there in the rain as I watched the whole interaction. I was feeling all the emotions, anger, sadness, confusion, and jealousy. My mother. I don't remember her much. The few memories I have of her are from when she will always be yelling at me and telling me nasty things to the point she just left one day.

Damn, when was the last time I ever thought about her? Without realizing I continued to walk in the rain and suddenly I was in front of the warehouse. The club I went to last time with my friends. The warehouse randomly will hold dance night, but tonight it was just another ordinary bar set. 

Just one drink, that's it.

Numb. Numb was the only way I could describe what I am feeling at the moment. I'm on my 3rd shot I want to say. The beers that were for drinking at the comfort of my couch were now for drinking on the bar stool. Luckily the place was mellow. A few people were just grabbing some beers and the music was not too loud. I looked up at the TV that was hanging at the corner of the bar stand. A commercial was playing about kids getting asked about who their favorite hero was and all of them said their favorite was mom/dad. Go figure. I groaned as the bartender came to me. "Another one?" he asked, referring to my empty shot glass. "Make it a double shot please." He slammed a bigger cup next to my shot glass and poured in the liquor. I chugged it down, in one go. I need something stronger. I don't think alcohol would do it.

"Angel face, didn't think you were a serious drinker like that." Bingo. I turn my face to the side and see the golden hair boy making himself comfortable on the stool next to me. "Alcohol doesn't do much for me. I need more to feel some effect." I smiled at him. That was a lie, but also the truth. Since I got here I've only been drinking beer. My tolerance has only gone down a little. "I wanted to apologize for the other night. I wanted to call you, but I realized I never got your number." "Oh! It's fine, don't need to worry about that night. I made it home safe. Thank you." I turned back to my empty glass. Pondering if it's worth the ask. I know in Mexico, it was easy to get stuff, but here in Japan? "Just hand me your phone and follow me." Without a second thought I handed it over and followed Hawks to the back of the warehouse.

Just one more time and I'll clean up.

It's a bit chilly, and everything smelled wet from the rain. We walked not too far from the place where we stopped in a dark, wet alley. And there it was, in his hands. The small pouch with a small quantity of strands that will make me forget about the void I have in my heart.

"I understand that being a hero has its dark moments. I can't imagine the things you saw and had to do in Mexico. There's no judgment." He threw the pouch to me and without even a second thought, I empty it. I slide down on the brick wall to the floor, bringing my knees to my chest, and looking up towards the sky. Slowly feeling the effect that I missed so much. I felt a smile creeping on my face. Finally, the void was starting to disappear. "Here. I put my number in there. If you ever need more, call me. Don't get it from anyone else. Got it?" He smiled at me as he handed back my phone. "Will do. Thank you so much." I smiled at him feeling like I was on top of the world.

"Let me bring us some water. Stay here, I'll be right back." He walked back towards the warehouse as I stayed back and looked at the clouds in the dark sky. The moon was very bright, so cloud gazing wasn't difficult. I was so at peace that I didn't even hear that someone walked up towards me. "Hey, your friend told me you needed some water. I brought you some." I feel the cold water bottle touch my face, making me laugh. I take it without a second thought, twist the cap off and start drinking it. Immediately I spit it out. "What is this?" I observed the bottle but it looked clear like just any other water bottle. It had the most sour taste ever. I looked up and I heard the mysterious man footsteps running away from me. I screamed out to him to stop as I got up and attempted to run after him. My vision was starting to get messy with me. I felt like I was running into different narrow alleys. This can't be the effect of what Hawks gave me. I have never felt like this before. I need to get home.

The anxiety crept on me quickly like if I was getting attacked by thousands of small spiders. Trying to run and find my way home, but I kept hitting brick walls. "Am I stuck? No. No. No. This is what I get for messing around. Shit." I crouch down grabbing onto my head with both hands, trying to calm down and slow down my breath.

"Michelle?" I snapped my head up as I felt the rain droplets on my face. I see a little girl on the other end of the alley in front of me. I can't see her face, but she sounds so little. Her voice sounds very familiar. "Is this who we become?" I feel my body temperature drop quickly, and my eyes widen at the question. Is this who we become? "Why are we murders? We're supposed to save people and bring the guilty people to justice!" I stand up, feeling like a zombie who just came back from the dead. No this can't be happening. The rain starts to fall quicker and quicker. Hearing the rain drops louder and louder as they hit the floor. "No. It's not what it looks like." I whisper back. I slowly start walking towards the girl. "Why are we into drugs? Why are we so pathetic!? What happened?! We were supposed to live a good life!" She yells on top of her lungs as I try to muffle my cry with the sleeve of my sweater. The tears were blending with the water that was hitting my face. "Let me explain please!" I cried out. "Why aren't we with Shota?! Where's Toshi?! No wonder everyone left us! No wonder mom hated us!" I finally saw her face. It was my face. 4 year old Michelle. The age I was when my whole world turned around. I jumped towards her. Wanting to hold her and apologize for all I've done. I want to tell 4 year old Michelle that things will get better. Please let me hold her and tell her everything will be ok.

As much as I begged and cried, nothing worked. I slipped and my vision cleared up. Instead of running towards her, I ran towards a flight of stairs. My body was getting hit by every cement step as I was rolling down. It felt like I was falling in slow motion, and my whole body started to ache. My head, my ribs, my arms, and my legs. I finally hit the floor, looking up at the dark sky as the rain hit my body. I want to get up, but everything feels so heavy. Even my own eyelids are starting to be so heavy. I see a shadow appearing in my vision. "I'm...sorry" was the last thing I remember before closing my eyes.