𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 ~ 𝐰𝟐𝐬

you know youll always know me

Simon had his hand around talias waist.

Josh had his arm gently hung around Freya's shoulder.

And for me I had the warm but bone chilling late night Marbella breeze hitting the back of my neck, coating it in goosebumps.

It's now been 2 hours since the fight with him. And as much as I hate to admit it, hes all that's on my mind right now.

And I've caused it. If I'd never been so stupid and broke up with him, for NO reason. If I'd never be so blind to see how much I hurt him.

Because never did I ONCE acknowledge his feelings, always my own.

I acted as if he was the one who had caused this when in reality, it was all me.

I hate myself for it, I'll never forgive myself.

"Parker!" Jj shouted attempting to jump on my back, nearly breaking it in the process.

"Fuck off you fat bastard" I shouted jokingly shoving him while giggling as he pulled me in to a side hug.

"I've missed you kid, I'm glad your here you know" he whispered to me and it got me thinking. Was it fate? Were me and Lola destined to come to Marbella?

For the LONGEST time me and Lola were having constant fights about where to go for our girls annual holiday trip. You don't know how hard I fought to go to Greece, like it's my dream to go to Greece it's seriously stunning.

But somehow, somehow no matter how hard I fought for it, Lola won. Lola would've KILLED someone to go to Marbella and I'm not joking.

And somehow I agreed to it but what if I didn't?

What if we didn't come here? We wouldn't have seen the boys, the girls but most importantly, we wouldn't have seen him. I wouldn't have seen him. I wouldn't have been in his bedroom sobbing. I wouldn't have been met with his watery, broken eyes. I wouldn't have been met and confronted with such guilt that'd I'd always felt but refused to come face to face with it. I always knew it was all my fault, but I tried to convince myself it wasn't all me, maybe he wanted it to. But I always knew he didn't. He loved me and clearly still does. Maybe I gave up on us but he never did. Until now?

We could be long gone down a deep spiral.

"yeah I missed you big bro" I have to push Harry to the back of my head but I can't. No matter where he his in my head it still hurts.

And now it's aches that little bit more knowing I've ruined his holiday, hes ran off to fuck knows because of me.

Finally jj let me go and I let out a big sigh before catching up to Freya , Josh , Tobi and Ethan.

"Alright parks" Tobi said offering me a warm smile, taking my hand and spinning me around.

"Green is definitely your colour" Tobi said in a friendly manner causing me to chuckle.

"Tobrizzle you knowww" Ethan shouted causing me and Tobi to hold our head in our hands.

"For fucks sakes can't catch a break can I" Tobi sighed in defeat laughing to himself , again doing ass jj done pulling me into his chest giving me a side hug: while walking.

"Tobi I need to let you in on a little secretttt" I slurred , I've literally not drank a drop of alcohol tonight.

"Go on" he really dragged the 'n' out causing me to erupt in laughter at what I was about to tell him.

"See the girl ahead of us" I smirked pointing towards my blonde sister Lola.

Me and Lola go way back to primary school, I love her infinitely and she's just like a sister to me. I trust her with everything. My WHOLE life if you will.

We're like the dumb brunette and blonde duo, obviously until I turned blonde 5 years ago, then just 2 month ago I switched back to my natural self.

A smile played on tobis lips as I pointed to lola, as if he knew what I was going to say.

"I think she has a little crush on you" I say childishly, reminder I am 25.

Tobi rolled his eyes before laughing causing them both to explode like a volcano full of laughter. This caused Parker's blonde best friend to swiftly turn around, but shortly after noticing tobi staring at her , shyly turned back around.

"See!" I drag out the 'e' before looking back at Tobi and erupting in another fit of giggles.

After another 5 minutes we made it to the seaside restaurant and it was truly beautiful. The ten of us took a seat on an outside table. A large rectangular table. 4 on each side and one at the end. Me wanting to be special, I sat at the end. Along with jj who definitely has the delusion to think he's the main character.

Another reason I sat at the end was so I could think without being crammed in between to of my best mates and as much as I love them all, I need time to think about earlier , about us, about him.

Where is he? Is all I can think about.

He's a grown man yet I'm still worried sick.

"Hey parks what you want from the menu" Ethan slowly tapped my hand snapping me out of my thoughts.

Have you ever heard the song by Taylor swift 'dorothea'? Well Ethan is definitely my Dorothea.

If I ever got tired of being known for who I know, if I ever feel sad or upset with something, sure maybe Ethan isn't always the first to check on me, but he's always there for me and he always lets me know.

"Huh, uh I'll just have a cheese pizza" I smiled at him and he gave a reassuring smile back.

And just like that I was lost in my thoughts again about , you know who. It took every muscle in body to not cry at the table. Todays been such a bad , awful day. But when I'm having fun with my friends I forget. When I'm alone it all comes rushing back.

I turn my head to admire the beach. The sunset. The trees swaying in the wind. The cute couples waking hand in hand, heart,broken.

I'm guilty of people watching , I'm bad for it. A gorgeous couple catches my eye. The male was much taller than the female, who was tanned and absolutely beautiful, her boyfriend your classic tall brunette and tan. I watched as they ran bare feet in the sand together, giggling smiling and laughing and-

They ran past a bench. A bench with a boy sat on it facing the ocean. I know that boy. I know that head. I know that hair. I know him.