in dreams

chapter two - loverboy

hyunjin groggily rubbed his eyes as an alarm set on his phone went off. he turned it off, annoyed that his dream was interrupted, and curled closer into his blanket, chasing the black hair and freckles in his dreams.

wait.

he sat up and checked the time. 3:30. hyunjin smiled despite himself.

time to go see felix.

he climbed out of bed and went to wash his face. he didn't realize he fell asleep. honestly, it astonished him a little.

'i really fell asleep. at night.'

he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, taking in his supposedly good looking face. sure, he heard it all the time. 'hyunjin, you're so hot', 'hyunjin, you look unreal', 'hyunjin, hyunjin, hyunjin'. of course it was nice. it was great that people thought he was so attractive.

but when he looked at himself, all he saw was everything that was wrong.

his normally bright eyes, perpetually shadowed by dark circles. the slit in his eyebrow that never quite grew back after he cut it a year ago from a lost bet. a small mole halfway down his right cheek. and especially the stupid mole under his left eye.

little things that made his already mediocre face even less appealing.

he watched as a tear fell from his left eye, making the mole glisten in the harsh bathroom lighting. he wiped it quickly, not knowing where it came from. clearing his throat and locking eyes one last time with the sad reflection, he turned off the bathroom light and closed the door behind him.

he looked at his clothes in the full body mirror. he already changed from his home clothes into a simple outfit, hoping to look effortlessly styled. the look was definitely effortless, but he didn't know about how stylish it was.

he dragged his hands down his face as he fell back onto his bed. why was it so hard to feel like he looked good enough for felix?

why does it even matter? it literally does not matter.

but regardless, he got up and changed again anyways.

shuffling through a few combinations of pants, shirts, sweaters, jeans, he finally settled on a black, ribbed sweater, and another pair of black pants.

what if felix thought he was weird for wearing black all the time?

hyunjin just shook his head and put on his glasses, leaving before he thought too much about it and changed again.

hyunjin still thought about how funny it was that he and felix were friends. he half thought that they would get sick of each other after the first few nights (or at least felix would get sick of him coming night after night). but to his surprise, they consistently met up after their first few times together, and neither of them seemed to be getting bored of the company. hyunjin always waited until around three or four to go see him, and felix always welcomed him to a wide smile and sometimes even a complimentary jjajangmyeon.

were they friends at this point maybe? friends that don't have each other's numbers, or social media, or any relation or form of contact with each other besides one visiting the other in the middle of the night while he worked.

but that doesn't matter. what really defines a friendship, right?

caught up in all this thoughts, hyunjin arrived at the convenience store before he even realized.

chirin~