in dreams

chapter eight - home

hyunjin didn't leave the house the whole day. he missed class, and he even missed work. maybe, he had hoped, felix would come back to his house. maybe something came up, and he had to leave, but he would come back as soon as it was over. hyunjin needed to be home when felix came back. obviously.

hyunjin pleaded to whoever could be listening, 'please, he's gonna be right back.'

so he waited, and he waited, but felix never turned up.

the day turned to night, and hyunjin had never felt so tired in his life. he fought the sleep that seemed to want to overcome him. funny how a diagnosis you struggled with for twenty three years could disappear so inconveniently overnight.

23:50

hyunjin deemed it was finally the appropriate time to leave. if felix didn't come back to his house, he would have to at least go to work.

felix's shift started at midnight.

hyunjin walked quickly, filled with anticipation to see him again but also anxiety about how they left things.

did felix regret everything that happened last night? did he regret kissing him? had he not meant anything he said? after everything that had happened and everything they had confessed that night, he thought he would've meant something more than a one night stand.

chirin~

the familiar bells of the convenience store bell chimed above him, and he waited for the kind, gentle, deep voice that usually followed it.

"welcome in!" but that was not the voice he knew. hyunjin's heart sunk a bit as he walked to the counter, somehow hoping for felix even though the voice that greeted him was a clear indicator that he wouldn't be the one standing there.

surely enough, the man dutifully behind the counter was not felix.

"hello, can i help you?" he spoke blandly, as if he was hoping hyunjin didn't need assistance. polite but not friendly.

"ah, this may be a weird question, but.." hyunjin hesitated, looking around the counter for any trace of felix's belongings. "do you happen to know why felix isn't working tonight?" the worker looked at him blankly for a second, but hyunjin could swear his eye rolled or twitched or something.

"i'm the only worker tonight and most nights from now on. i was switched to the night shift starting yesterday."

"yesterday?" hyunjin wondered aloud, earning himself yet another eye roll ; this one unmistakable. hyunjin held back his questions and grievances, simply nodding and thanking the man before walking out into the cold night.

yesterday? felix just said he was taking the night off, but now someone else was there claiming the night shift. hyunjin couldn't even understand what was going on. one night he's sharing kisses and confessions and unreal intimacy with felix, and the next he's gone like he never existed. why didn't he tell hyunjin he wasn't working nights anymore? when is hyunjin supposed to see him now? hyunjin realized after all this time he still never got the boy's number.

"you're fucking kidding.." hyunjin cursed when he tripped over a littered can. kicking it to the side, he lost balance and twisted his ankle. "ow.." he sat in the middle of the street, holding his ankle and trying not to cry.

~

"hyun.. hyun. hyunjin!" hyunjin jolted awake when jisung grabbed his shoulder. "hyunjin.." he sighed.

"sorry." hyunjin straightened himself out in the slightly uncomfortable cafe chair.

"i was gone for five minutes, how'd you manage to pass out already?" jisung spoke with obvious concern. concern he's been expressing for the last month. "i thought you were getting better, but you seem worse than before. have you been sleeping.. at all?"