in dreams

chapter three - wound

the ultimatum.

should he go see felix or not?

hyunjin didn't want to face him after how awkward and embarrassed he felt yesterday.

and what if that guy came again today? what if him and felix were together?

hyunjin laughed at himself. he really thought he had a chance.

now in retrospect, everything felt so embarrassing.

he'd been throwing himself at felix, and he had a boyfriend the whole time.

"seriously, this is so annoying." hyunjin mumbled to himself in his dimly lit room. he looked at the canvas in front of him that was covered with oil paint in seemingly messy but purposeful strokes.

he really shouldn't have been thinking of felix so much while painting.

almost like it was mocking him, the portrait stared back at him with sad eyes. it looked insanely similar to felix.

"god!" hyunjin threw his brush onto his palette, running his hands through his hair in frustration. this was his last canvas, and he just used it to paint the main source of his distress. "i'm losing it." he shook his head and left the painting on the easel, walking out of his room then out of his apartment entirely.

even if he didn't go to the convenience store, a walk would be nice for him. he needed to breathe fresh air. he needed to clear his mind.

the chill of the night met him immediately, cooling his frustration heated face but not seeping past his sweater.

he hadn't even changed out of the clothes he wore out today. today didn't happen to be one of the days he overcame his insomnia.

maybe because he didn't stand well with felix right now.

hyunjin shook his head, careful to not move his headphones from where they sat.

focus on the music.

focus on the cool night.

focus on anything but him.

but there he was again.

hyunjin's brain was either working against him or an unbelievably stubborn creature of habit.

before hyunjin could turn back around and book it down the street, felix somehow spotted him through the windows of the convenience store and was excitedly waving at him with a huge smile. hyunjin almost forgot why he even wanted to avoid coming here in the first place. almost. he really wished he forgot.

chirin~

"hey! i was wondering where you were.." felix walked over to hyunjin, putting a hand on his arm.

"ah," hyunjin tried not to react to felix's slightly confused face when he pulled his arm away. "i got caught up while painting." felix face lit up, and hyunjin wanted to cry.

"ooh~ what were you painting?"

'you.'

"nothing special." felix frowned at the bland answer, having expected hyunjin to go on about his art like he usually did.

"right.." the air between them was undeniably awkward now. hyunjin suddenly didn't know how to act with felix, and felix was confused why hyunjin was suddenly behaving like they'd just met again. "well, i'm just gonna go get some stuff from the back.. uh.. i'll be back." hyunjin nodded quickly with a pressed smile, letting out a breath he'd unknowingly been holding as felix disappeared behind the closing door.