in dreams

chapter five - what do you want me to want

hyunjin kept on the swing for a while longer. he didn't care to keep track of time. it was quiet in the night. it was rare for him to feel at peace without music, but tonight, the silence comforted him.

it's not that insomnia was something he enjoyed, but hyunjin was glad he was able to be okay with it now. now that he'd gotten used to the comforting loneliness of the night.

he was allowed to not think about anything. or think about everything. he could focus on being productive during the day, and when night came, that was his time for everything else.

unfortunately, having so much time allotted more time to thinking too much.

hyunjin didn't know how long he'd been swinging slightly back and forth on that swing, eyes unfocused on the trees distantly in front of him, mind filled uselessly with thoughts of a charming part time worker.

no matter how hard he wanted to consider him as just another acquaintance, hyunjin couldn't help but put him on a higher pedestal.

he knew that felix didn't think of him the way he thought of felix. not only in that hyunjin saw him so differently than he saw hyunjin, but also that he just always thought of him. he wonders if he ever actually crosses felix's mind at all. if any of this is actually mutual, or if he's bound to be in one sided love stories forever.

hyunjin looked up to the moon. the moon is always bright in the sky, but you would have to try to see it when it was covered hazily by clouds like it was now.

to him, felix was not only the moon, but he was the sun. and his skin was covered in the stars. what could be the clouds? what could distract him from felix and hide him away in hyunjin's mind?

the swing creaked as hyunjin got off. he made no haste in starting his way to the store. maybe if he took long enough, he would just miss him. if he took long enough, he would've just missed the chance to see him. if he took long enough, clouds could start to form.

he walked leisurely, even closing his eyes sometimes. it was a little unusual how careless he felt right now, but he didn't want to think about it. he was worried only about one thing, and nothing else seemed to matter.

chirin~

hyunjin stepped into the brightly lit convenience store and was greeted quickly.

he didn't take long enough.

"hello!" felix's voice called out from somewhere within the store, but the boy didn't come out to greet him. hyunjin's heart sunk a bit, and the realities of everything came back to him for a split second when he realized why felix probably wasn't expecting it to be him.

"hello," hyunjin called back. his voice wasn't loud, but felix seemed to hear and recognize him anyway by the way he peeked his head out from an aisle. "hello." hyunjin said again.

"oh," now aware that it was hyunjin, felix put down whatever he was holding and started walking over. "i wasn't.. expecting you.." felix tried not to be awkward or accusatory in his words or tone of voice.

"yeah, i know," hyunjin looked down at felix's face. his brows were furrowed just a bit and his mouth rested in a slight frown. "i know. i'm sorry."

"nothing to be sorry for. we live our own lives."

hyunjin frowned now, too.

"right.." felix didn't look at him, and hyunjin's night induced peace was slipping away by the second. "do you know what time it is?" felix'x eyes finally snapped back up at him.

"do you not have your phone?"

"it's dead." felix lifted his head to look at him fully, analyzing his whole face before talking again.