Anachronism

Anniversary. Medications.

Happy 4th year anniversay cupcake!

OMG. I was so surprised about what Jake did inside my room. There were balloons. Red balloons with strings. And my wall was full of sticky notes with quotes and messages for me.

You are the reason why Im breathing. You are the reason why Im here - this message was written on a yellow colored sticky note.

Those eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes. I just cant stop staring at me. - this one is cheesy but gosh... This made me blush.

Jake. You didnt need to do all of these. I mean I have you. You have me. Thats more than enough.

Cupcake. I did this to make you feel more special. You deserve this.

Attached on the strings of the balloons were our pictures together. He loves taking pictures. He has this old polariod given by his dad. Wherever we are he is bringing it.

I remember that day. It was July 15, 2013. At exactly 4 32 pm. I can always remember the time and date especially when Im with him. We just stayed in my room all day. We talked. We cuddled. We started making plans of our future together. And then someone called me.

Hey Sophie. This is Maya from Dr. Reyes office. He wants to talk to you. He said its urgent...

That was also the day when I found out that I am dying. That day was a total chaos. It ruined our anniversary.

Hey Jake. I just need to go somewhere. Ill be back ok. Just wait for me.

Ok cupcake. I will. I love you.

I wasnt able to even tell him I love him too because I was so in a rush to get to the hospital.

I felt bad for not saying that I love him too. I was shaking. I was so nervous. I was... hurt.

Sophie. We have the results of the test. And Im sorry but you have ALS.

ALS. Whats that.

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Its a fatal neurological disease that attacks the nerve cells  responsible for controlling voluntary muscle action we are able to control, such as those in the arms, legs, and face. This is incurable Im afraid.

I was so devasted. I didnt even understand what he was talking about. I just know that Im dying. Literally dying...

Dont worry Sophie. There are medications..

Whats the point of those medications doc. I mean you just told me that its incurable right. So I dont see any reason to have medications..

To prolong your life Sophie.

You mean to prolong my agony right. Why dont you just sedate me to death right now. You are not God to tell me Im dying.. You are not Him.

I didnt even know why those words came out of my mouth. I was so devasted. My heart was trembling. My hands were shaking. And my tears they just wont stop.

Sophie... please..

I have to go Doc. I will talk to you some other time. Thank you.

I went out of the hospital. Still trying to avoid the things that I heard. I dont know where Im going. I was lost. I can even think straight. I can stop staring at my hands, they were shaking.

Jake. Im on my way back... Wait for me.

I said those words feeling the pain. The pain of letting him go. Letting him know that Im dying. That Im leaving...