Another Way

Chapter 23: Namesake

By the time Sue was done with her retelling, her strained breathing was the only sound filling their nook of the clearing.

She wasn't exactly sure when Spark had left, only that she did at some point. The once-human couldn't blame her. There's only so much tending to a soggy mess of a friend anyone can handle before they just want to retreat to something more reassuring.

Lilly only grew more concerned for her with every sentence, culminating with holding the Forest Guardian tight to her front, as if afraid she would fly off and get herself gravely hurt again. The actual events she had described were... harrowing, scary, unnerving. All of those and more, the central gloomy injustice at the center of it all, the denial of positive change at the hands of a single maddened owl visible to her, too.

By the end of Sue's retelling, though, the abstract political situation between Moonview and Newmoon had taken a back seat to something else in Lilly's mind.

Sue might've already gone over all this more times within the past few hours than anyone ought to in their lifetime, but if anything, it only made her react harder to her own recollection. Both at the obviously distressing parts, the near-death, but also at what happened afterwards. The tears that gathered in her eyes when she mentioned trying to sleep last night. Her angry outburst earlier in the day.

So far from the Sue the leafy dancer knew, the impact of the stress over the past few days made abundantly clear.

It led Lilly to try asking about it. And then again, a few sentences later. About how it all impacted Sue, about whether she's holding alright, whether she needed more help.

Each time, nervous shaking, visible fight against her own body to not cry any more. A thick silence that simultaneously concealed and revealed so much.

And then, soon after, a polite denial.

Because what can I even say here?

Sue wasn't coping with her inability to explain what was wrong any better than Lilly was. She wanted to let it out, to release her tension. About her, about everyone else here, about this world and her tattered mental state whenever she tried thinking any of this through.

But she couldn't.

Lilly didn't deserve to deal with this weight.

The weight of her friend's struggles, the nigh indescribable pressure of knowing that Sue's stay here might be temporary. Of course, that concern had more selfish undertones, ones which Sue was well aware of and didn't hesitate to kick herself over.

Despite how much she might've loathed herself for it... Sue wanted this. To be held, to be comforted, to have someone she could confide in. Someone who adored her, someone she adored. And if being truthful with them carried a serious risk of them just running away because they obviously wouldn't want to stick with an extradimensional alien that might disappear on the spot...

I'm being so fucking scummy.

The thought stirred more tears inside Sue as they both sat in silence, Lilly's hug immediately tightening. It was the one realization she couldn't even try to fight or paint as mere self-loathing. It was true, and Sue hated it, she hated herself for it, and she deserved all this suffering for being willing to lie like that-

"Sue?"

*sniffle*

Strained breaths were Sue's only answer as her body fruitlessly tried to calm down. Regardless of whether it was deserved or not, Lilly's concern was there and downright palpable to the Forest Guardian, accompanied by her warm, soothing care. A tangible desire for Sue to feel better, expressed with a restrained embrace and careful stroking of her shoulder.