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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX WARNING : NSFW sex scene ahead ☆
I lay on her chest with nothing but happiness and contempt in my heart. It slowly fades as I try to find the best way to tell the girl I undoubtedly love that I'm dying. I'm not sure I can, it's going to break me. I couldn't imagine her constantly focusing on me being sick so much that we didn't enjoy anything together. I don't want to keep her in the dark but she doesn't need to worry about shit she can't control.
"Can I go first actually" I look up at her from my spot, as I lay on her chest. I nod, before getting comfortable with her again. Our legs are tangled with one another and her hands are playing in my hair. I really need a haircut. I felt her take a few big deep breaths, clearly wanting to be prepared for my reaction to whatever she was going to say.
It didn't matter, nothing was going to stop this from happening. I won't let it.
"Okay." She takes one last breath.
"Ivy is my ex, the one I told you about. A lot of shit happened with us we can get into details later if you want but yeah that's who she is. She was the one who commented on that post. She had been doing that for only a couple of before you found my account. I never responded because I didn't need to. I didn't want her back- I don't want her back... uhm..."
She trails off and takes another breath. I get nervous myself hoping what she's gonna tell me isn't something that would break my heart.
"Uhm... I kissed her." I bring my brows together not sure what she means. I assumed they kissed when they were together.
"Yeah, that's what people in relationships do." I laughed, hoping to lighten the mood but she didn't. I look up at her hoping to read the expression on her face. Guilt.
"No, I kissed her... recently."
I'm taken aback by her response and I can't see myself but I know the look of my face tells it all. She looks down with shame, instantly making me feel bad. Even though I know I shouldn't. It hurts a little but what did I expect? I never made her my girlfriend. She was free to do whatever she wanted.
Secondly, I'm dying in 5 months, I'd rather not dwell on a kiss she had with her ex. I wanna talk about it and get it out of the way.
"When did you see her?"
"Two weeks ago, we went to a standup show and she drove me home."
"Is that when you kissed?"
She nods but never looks up. The room gets silent as I let the thought of her kissing... that girl sink in. All I can imagine Ivy in my position. She told me she no longer loved Ivy, but can you really ever stop loving someone? I sigh, not wanting to be bothered by the mind fog this gives me.
