Beyoncé pov
1 month later
It was almost 2 at night & I was up finishing the last piece of my clothing line before the relaunched. Nicki & Blue was sleep so I tried to be as quiet as I could be. Once I was done I still wasn't sleepy so I went to my studio room. Yes I have a studio room. I got it set up like a year ago bc I thought I would be able to maintain music & being a mother but I saw how that worked out so I just never did really use it.
I went to my studio room & fucked around with a couple beats & somehow I got a sad wave & started thinking about my father & how he never listened to me. I told him plenty of times that I wanted to be a singer but he would never listen & he told me that it would never work out so that's another reason why I stopped trying. I have a little more help with Blue now that Jay & Nicki helps out a lot so i decided to play the beat. I also worked on my freestyle skills without being intoxicated so I tried to freestyle but the beat was too slow. Eventually I just thought of all the things I've been thru with my father & I just poured it all out into the song.
Listen, to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release
Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside & turned
Into your own, all cause you won't listen
Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried & tried to say what's on my mind
You should have known
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened, there is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh, I'm screaming out & my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own, all cause you won't listen
Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind
You should have known
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've got to find my own
I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't
Listen, to the song here in my heart
A melody I start, but I will complete
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
My own
I recorded the song & tried to edit it. After I played it back I broke down crying. I just wished he would've believed in me. I edited the song the best I could & played it over & over. I decided I wanted to publish the song but I wanted Nicki to hear it first so I could get her opinion on it.
I fixed everything back like it was before & went to our room & went to sleep.
Nicki agreed to move in with me again but she's still keeping her house in case something happens.
The next morning I woke up & it was almost 2 in the afternoon so I got up & took a shower. After I was done I put my hair in a ponytail & put on something chill. I didn't feel like cooking so I called in some food. I ordered 2 large pepperoni pizzas. Nicki & Blue was already up watching tv downstairs so I decided to join them. "Hey sleepy head." Nicki said as I kissed her & picked Blue up. "Hey baby." I said to Nicki as Blue tried to get down. "Down mommy." She said as I pouted & put her down as she ran back to Nicki. "Really Blue you gone leave me for Nicki?" I said as she nodded smiling as I laughed & rolled my eyes.
"I have to go back to work tomorrow." Nicki said as I nodded. "Ugh I miss you being here with us all day." I whined as she giggled. "I know baby but I gotta make this money. I only got 3 patients tomorrow so I'll should be home real soon. It usually doesn't take that long." She said as I nodded. "Okay well how about we come to your office on your lunch break tomorrow." I said as she nodded. "I would love that. I be bored out of my mind." She whined as I laughed.
The pizzas finally came & Nicki looked at me like I was crazy. "Really Bey?" She said as I nodded smiling. "You know you could've cooked." She said as I shrugged. "But I didn't wannaaaaa. Oh & I want you to listen to this song I recorded last night." I said as she nodded. "Okay but I thought you were done with music." She said as I sighed. "Honestly baby I don't know what I wanna do. I mean music is my passion but I'm a mother now & it's gonna be hard to manage music & a child." I said as she looked at me. "Baby you know I got Blue for you. If you wanna do music then do it don't worry about Blue you know she's in good hands with me. Her father watches her also." She said as I sighed.
"You're right bae but it's like if I start getting serious with music & going on tours then ima feel like I'm neglecting my family bc I won't be able to give y'all the attention and time y'all need from me." I said. "Baby it's okay. Look if that happens then we'll work through it & besides we'll be at every show, rehearsal, & interview supporting you. Just don't overwork yourself Bey bc you tends to do that. Now if you wanna sing let's do it baby. Let that beautiful voice of yours be heard all around the world. We support you 100 percent." She said as I smiled.
"Okay. I wanna do it but I wanna manage myself. Like I wanna write & produce my own songs & I know it's gonna be hard but I know I can do it. So I'm gonna buy the rest of the things I need for my studio room so I can work from home." I said as she looked at me so proudly. "See that's the Bey I know & love. You have always been bout business & you always find a way to work things out even when you can't." She said as I smiled & nodded. "Yeah but come on let's go listen to the song." I said as she got up with Blue on her bumper. "Blue you don't have to be all up on her she's not gonna leave you." I said as she pouted at me.
"My best frwen mommy." She said hugging Nicki legs as we awed at her. "Awww baby you're the cutest little thing. Bey she's so precious." Nicki said as I playfully rolled my eyes & walked to my studio.
Read & comment on your favorite parts (:
