Everybody Hurts

Chapter 8

 Sam propped her bike up against Jonathan and Nancy's porch. It was a cozy little house with a cute little garden and flower boxes lining the front porch just like Sam had at her house. The windows and door were painted a vibrant blue against the cream siding. It resembled a house out of a storybook, bringing up the image of lazy summer days on the porch reading a good book or a bunch of friends in the backyard for a cookout.

She hoped to make her house half this cute by the time summer was over. The flowers were definitely a step in the right direction but it desperately needed a good paint job, a chore she was looking forward to because it would help fill her long summer, giving her something to do, something to keep her busy. She'd found downtime was her enemy because that was when the nasty little voice in her head started reminding her of all the ways she'd screwed up in life, the bad choices she'd made. There were some repairs to the house that she may have to pay somebody to do but if she was capable, she would be doing the work herself and saving the money. And Sam was more than capable of climbing up a ladder and painting.

Sam had grown up middle class, or at least that's what most people would consider her. Her dad was a loan officer for the bank and her mom taught high school. They'd never hurt for money but there had been times when things had been tough. Sam remembered her mom taking on a second job for a bit when her dad's hours had gotten cut at work. She'd learned the importance of a dollar and to save where you could.

Unfortunately, when she'd been with Cam, he'd taken over the finances and she'd allowed him because he was her husband. But that meant that she never went through moving out and budgeting your life like most young people did. She hadn't had to because Cam took care of it all but Cam liked to spend. He liked to show off, to let everyone know that he was doing well. That meant tailored suits, a car well beyond what he needed, and the four bedroom house that was way too much for them. Sam had hated it because it took her five hours to clean the same place every single weekend and it was the one thing she hadn't been sad to let go of. She wouldn't have been able to afford it on her own anyway.

Now, completely on her own, living off of one income, a teacher's income, she had to remember all her parent's lessons on pinching pennies and stretching your dollars. She had to sit down and create a budget, setting realistic limits on what she would be able to spend after all of her bills were paid. It made Sam feel like she was eighteen and just starting out in life instead of the thirty year old woman she actually was.

She made her way up the front steps of Nancy and Jonathan's and onto the white porch, knocking on the door. Her insides twisted uncomfortably as she waited, doubts about confronting her friend bubbling to the surface once again, wondering if she was making a huge mistake, wondering if she even wanted to know the truth anymore.

Sam had second thoughts about this decision about a million times since she'd made it. As she drank her coffee this morning, she was certain that she was going to demand answers, set in her resolve to finally solve this mystery. By lunch, she had been reconsidering, telling herself it was none of her business what had happened ten years ago when she hadn't even been there. If she kept pushing, she might lose her new friends and could she blame them? During her planning period, she reminded herself that if she was going to be spending time with Eddie then she had every right to know whether he was dangerous or not. It wasn't just some secret. It was potentially a secret that could get her harmed and what kind of friends would they be if they allowed her to spend time with someone they knew could be a killer?

By the end of the day, after her kids had filed out of the classroom, she'd decided she was being ridiculous. Of course Eddie wasn't dangerous. Aggravating? Definitely. A giant dickhead? Absolutely. But dangerous just didn't fit. By the time she'd ridden home, she was set on asking the questions because even taking Eddie out of the equation, none of it added up. Her brain and her naturally nosy nature, something Cam told her would get her in trouble someday, couldn't let it go. And if she was going to willingly live in this place and be friends with these people, didn't she have a right to know what had happened that still clung to them like a cat with its claws burrowed in the front of their shirt? Maybe it had been ten years ago but from what she could see, it wasn't really over for any of them or this town.