Everybody Hurts

Chapter 19

 That place...lightning and a red sky. Sam couldn't get it out of her head. She couldn't stop picturing it, trying to make it make sense, trying to figure out where it could be, this place that haunted him, wouldn't let him rest. Could it be the mall fire? The flames and smoke could have made the sky appear red...but didn't the fire happen at night? And was there a storm that night? She didn't remember there being any mention of a storm in the news articles she'd read. But with so many deaths, the weather could have been an inconsequential detail.

She lay back on the couch, Eddie's heavy weight pressing her down into the cushions as he slept, wrapped around her like a baby lemur. His arms were locked around her waist and his leg wound around her thigh. Soft snores rumbled between his lips from where his head rested on her chest. Sam couldn't move even if she wanted to and she didn't find herself inclined to do so, comforted by the warmth of his body, her own personal man-shaped heating blanket.

Her fingers danced over his dark locks, appearing almost black in the darkness of the room, rubbing the ends between her thumb and finger. He'd finally calmed, slipped into sleep, about an hour ago, once the thunder and the lightning had subsided. But Sam found herself wide awake, her brain unable to stop the mad dash it was in as it tried to search for answers to her never-ending questions.

Soft whimpers filled the silence as Eddie began to move, small, jerky movements at first, building into more erratic ones. His head shook from side to side,jaw stabbing into her sternum, fingers trembling against her back. Then his arms shot out from underneath her and she made a cage with her own around her head, preparing for him to lash out. Because that's always where it led. Sam had quickly learned within the past week to dart out of the way once the nightmares took over but there was nowhere for her to go with him on top of her and he was going to feel awful if he managed to hurt her again.

"No! No! Dustin, please!"

"Eddie!" she cried out, trying to break through the horrible memory he was living, to bring him back to the present, to her. "Eddie! It's okay. You're safe."

"No! Stop! Please!"

His body flailed on top of hers and she grunted, gasping for breath when his elbow slammed into her ribs. Jesus, he was heavier than he looked, his panicked writhing weight making it hard for her to breathe. Sam reached out, wrapping her arms around him, trying to stop his movements before he hurt her. She couldn't bear to see that guilt devouring him again. He didn't mean it, had no control of it, but he would never look at it that way.

"Eddie! Eddie, you're safe," she cried, holding onto him as tightly as she could but he was so much stronger than her and she couldn't keep him still no matter how she tried. "I'm here. You're safe. You're with Sam. You're not in that place. It's okay. Just open your eyes, baby. Come back to me. It's okay."

Deep brown eyes shot open, darting around the room as if searching for any signs of danger, a wild animal ready to defend against a predator. His large hands gripped her arms tightly and when his eyes finally found hers, she could see as he visibly relaxed, shoulders dropping, tense muscles in his face releasing. Then his hands were cupping her face, so gently, as if she were made of glass.

"Are you okay? I didn't...did I hurt you?" he asked and her heart broke with the fear in his words, the tremble in his voice. This man, who was tormented every night by monsters she didn't know, was more concerned for her than he was for himself.

"No, you didn't hurt me," she assured him with a shake of her head, hands running up and down his back soothingly. "I'm fine. Really. Are you okay?"

"I'm...fuck. No. I'm never okay, am I? Okay people don't turn into massive babies because of a little thunder and lightning, they don't fight invisible monsters in their sleep every damn night, and they don't have to worry that they're going to hurt their girlfriend."