Moonlight: Stars, Eclipses, & Full Moons

Unplanned

TW - this chapter will contain talks of abortion and miscarriage, so if that makes anyone uncomfortable, please continue with caution or skip it.

Jaehyun's POV

I like planning. I like generally knowing what to expect even if most things are subject to change by the time they actually end up happening. My family and friends playfully call me a control freak, but it's not about control. It never has been. There's just something so overwhelming and anxiety-inducing about walking into a situation totally blind, and I've always felt that way. I can still remember my very first day of school. Lily said she was scared too, but then she made friends and had fun and then she wasn't so scared to go anymore. I hoped the same would happen to me, but I also wasn't her. She could mask her fear, sometimes even explain it away. I couldn't, and so, yeah, walking into a classroom full of strange kids wasn't exactly the happiest moment of my life. 

Anyway, all that to say I hope my reaction to finding out I was pregnant was...understandable at least.

It had been just a little over two years since Jeongsoo and I officially became mates, and we lived with in a two-bedroom apartment with Seungjoon. My parents had of course offered to continue letting us live at the house, but the idea of trying to be more independent while simultaneously taking what I felt was financial advantage of them and the pack didn't sit right with me. And anyway, Seungjoon said he was looking for new roommates for his last year of culinary school, and Jeongsoo would have literally followed me to space if I asked him to, so the path was clear as far as I was concerned. All three of us worked to pay our bills, and Seungjoon and I saved the money our parents sent us every month for emergencies to avoid the inevitable battle we would have faced if we didn't accept it. Overall, it was a pretty average human existence, which I'm sure Seungjoon appreciated after spending years surrounded by werewolves. 

But at the same time, it wasn't the kind of existence that was exactly accommodating to a baby. Between our jobs and my residency, Jeongsoo didn't find ourselves having sex all that much. I took heat blockers every month and tracked my cycle religiously so that if there ever came a day when we were more stable and didn't have another person on the other side of our bedroom wall, we could plan to extend our family if we wanted. That month was no different. I took my two tablets exactly two days before my heat was supposed to start, and on the days when my nature couldn't step aside, we used protection. So, when I started experiencing all of the classic tell-tale signs of pregnancy, I was heavily in denial and so was he to be honest. Neither of us recalled a time when we let things get so out of control that we didn't use one. To me, there was no logical explanation as to why I could no longer stop myself from vomiting first thing in the morning. So, when the truth was finally revealed after very little detective work, I was in disbelief to say the least.

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW CONDOMS HAD EXPIRATION DATES? NO ONE TOLD ME!!"

"NO ONE SHOULD HAVE HAD TO! THERE ARE THINGS YOU SHOULD JUST KNOW AS AN ADULT HAVING SEX, JEONGSOO!"

He shook his head and pushed his fingers into his hair. "Should I kindly remind you that you are the first and only person I've had sex ever in my life? I didn't exactly have proper sex education because I was too busy trying to figure out why I was blacking out every full moon! And besides, isn't Fate supposed to take care of this? Like isn't that what it's for?"

"Holy shit," I said as I turned around for a moment, groaning in distress and shock. I slowly turned around and tried to speak as calmly as possible to him. "Fate is just like any other religion, okay? It doesn't control what happens to us, it only offers an explanation of the things that happen. It doesn't make our choices for us and it sure as hell doesn't act as a fucking contraceptive!"