Moonlight: Stars, Eclipses, & Full Moons

Home (Pancakes in the Morning)

Luhan's POV

I wouldn't say I've always wanted kids. My parents became more and more absent as I got older, you know, the work-hard-for-you-but-never-show-affection types. So, I guess was scared of becoming like them if I ever had kids. But sometimes, the people around you make you realize things about yourself, things that you never existed before you met them.

Sehun was that person for me. Well, him and everyone else in the pack who had kids. Because Sehun and I didn't, we naturally became candidates for babysitting. After doing that so many times, I got used to taking care of kids and even began to enjoy it. Sehun seemed to as well, but to this day, I chalk that up to him being a big kid himself. 

So, after some discussion, we decided to try having one of our own. What thought it was the obvious next step, the sign that Fate was trying to send us. As it turns out, though, Fate isn't always clear with what the signs it sends mean.

We tried for a while, almost a year maybe. When the traditional way wasn't working, we went to the doctor for help. When that didn't work either, we began to wonder what Fate's intentions with us were.

I remember crying a lot, mostly because I felt bad for Sehun. Getting pregnant was something I was supposed to be able to do, but I couldn't do that for us. The doctor explained that just because it was possible doesn't mean it always happens. He also said it probably had very little to do with the fact that I had been bitten and not born. To some extent, that made me feel better, but then I was reminded that D.O--someone who was also bitten--was able to do it twice, which made me go right back to feeling bad.

"Maybe it's just not meant to happen," Sehun had said. I remember the sad look on his face, despite knowing that he was trying to remain strong for me--for us. It took a long time, but we both came to accept that eventually. We tried to look at the bright side, which was that there was no shortage of kids to look after. We often joked that that arrangement was better because we could also return them to their parents when we got tired, something we wouldn't have been able to do if we had our own kids. 

And so, life went on and our wounds began to heal--slowly but surely. The thought always existed in the back of my mind as a past failure, though, one I never let reach the light of day for the sake of my mental and emotional health. Actually, I tried not to think about us having kids at all because I found that helped. 

But that all changed the day Seungjoon first came into our lives.

I remember being up at the main house with D.O, Baekhyun, and Tao the afternoon we first met him. I was helping him and Kai cut and pack up the meat we had caught from a recent hunt when Jaehyun and Lily came home from school.

"You've really done it now, Kim Jaehyun," Lily, who was 11 at the time, said as she walked through the front door. "Good luck explaining this one to them." D.O and I looked at each other in confusion.

"What are you two arguing about now?" D.O said as he moved his eyes to Lily.

She sighed and laid her backpack on the couch. "I had nothing to do with it," was all she said, raising her hands in the air innocently. We both became more confused but instantly understood when Jaehyun shyly walked through the front door--with another little boy that we had never seen before. D.O's eyes narrowed and his mouth opened slightly.

"Jaehyun, who is this? A friend from school?" he asked in as soft as a voice as he could muster up.

Jaehyun looked back at the boy, who looked extremely confused and shy. "N-Not exactly," he answered sheepishly. "Y-You see, we went on that school trip today and we met there. We started talking and he said he didn't have a family to go back home to, so...Idecidedtobringhimhomewithme."