A lifetime

7. Not Alone

The day was quiet, a deafening silence, Leeknow retreated to his room with nothing more to say leaving a confused boy behind.. But Hyunjin understood everything and now laying in his bed waiting for the night to come..

That's why Leeknow saved him.. that's why Hyunjin always felt Leeknow's face so close to his and he misunderstood it for something else.. that's why Leeknow just wants him around..

Leeknow walked out of his room once the sun disappeared to find the boy sitting in the living room just like the night before. The boy said nothing just looked at him in silence.. is he upset?.. is he regretting knowing that a monster is a part of his family?.. Too much thoughts were swarming in Leeknow's head, he turned away from the boy only to be stopped by his words..

"Hyunjin was my grandmother."
Hyunjin quietly said
LeeKnow nodded without turning to face him "I know I did the math."
"My mom.. named me after her.."
"I can guess that."
"Cause we have the same mole under our eyes."
Leeknow turned to look at Hyunjin to find him now standing not far from him..
"You look so much like her."
Hyunjin smiled softly "is that bad?"
Leeknow shook his head "It's perfect."
"Am I curse to you?"
Hyunjin asked suddenly making Leeknow freeze for a moment..

Is he? Or was it leeknow who is the curse itself.. Hyunjin looked sad and his eyes clearly showing that he was crying, leeknow hated himself more for causing those tears.
"I'm the curse.. you... you are a gift"

Hyunjin smiled more and came more closer
"Then why are you sad?.. why not be happy to find your family."
"CAUSE I DON'T BELONG ANYMORE.. THAT'S NOT MY FAMILY ANYMORE."
Leeknow shouted, regretting it instantly seeing how Hyunjin backed away from him..
"I'm a monster I don't belong in your world.. that's why... you.."
LeeKnow couldn't get himself to say it but the look on the boy's face shows that he knew what he wanted to say.
"You want me to go.."
Hyunjin's voice was low and breaking
"I... I think.."
Again he couldn't speak
"You don't want me.. just like.."
"NO..."
Leeknow stopped him seeing how Hyunjin was breaking into tears, he grabbed his shoulders bringing him closer "I want you.. I will always want you.. but this is.."
"You want me to go...."
Hyunjin was crying confused, he grabbed onto Leeknow's shirt "You want me to go"
"Cause it's the right thing to do Hyunjin."
"Cause you don't want me.."
Leeknow growled moving away from the boy "You think I want this.. I want to be this way.. it's not about what we want it's about the right thing to do."
Hyunjin said nothing just letting his tears flow..

"Do you really believe that I want this life I have?.. Do you want to know what I want Hyunjin."
LeeKnow looked back at the weeping boy and smiled
"I want to wake up to find you sitting on that couch giggling to a stupid tv show that I don't understand why it's funny.. I want to sit at the table and watch you stuff your face with unhealthy food but with the sweetest smile... I want to sit down and read and have you breathing down my neck to let you read with me although you can get another book... I want to cuddle on this couch and watch dramas and watch you crying over it... I want your bratty comments and your eye rolls.. I want to be the reason that you smiling not crying, Hyunjinie..."

Leeknow didn't feel the tears that were running down his cheeks till he saw Hyunjin coming over to wipe it gently with his thumbs..
"Minho"
Leeknow's breath froze in his chest hearing his name after so many years.. He felt warmth filling him looking at the boy..
"You never made me cry Minho.."
"I can't.."
"Why .. what can I do to make you see that you not and will not.."
"I can't watch you fade away too.."
"..."
"I can't watch you wither away and leave me... not after how you made me feel."

Hyunjin wiped his tears too and tried to put on a smile "You so silly Minho.. people die eventually.. that's life.."
"I won't.."

Hyunjin took a deep breath cubbing his cheeks
"Minho death isn't the end.. a person doesn't fade away completely.. his presence will always be existing through memories and belongings.. through his children and family.. no one just fade away."
"You so wise Hyunjinie" Leeknow teased
Hyunjin huffed and crossed his arms to his chest "those words really helped me when my mom died.. and it's really true.. Cause now I see and feel my mom in everything she used to do and say.. I can see her when I wear that earring... Her photos and the things she liked are everywhere around my room making me feel her presence all the time.."
Leeknow stared at Hyunjin as he went on
"Your wife didn't fade away, her life went on through your daughter.. your daughter too.. your granddaughter too.. she still existing through all her children..through me.."

"If you really want me to go just because you don't want to see me grow old, then I'll go, I'll take your offer of finding me a job and an apartment.. I'll go and you will never see me again.. is that what you want Minho?"

Leeknow closed his eyes taking a deep breath "I'm so tired of losing people I love.."
"I'm still young to think of my death."
Hyunjin smirked trying to get Leeknow to smile but Leeknow looked away
"You are so young and pretty Hyunjinie.. but I can't watch you wither away again"
Hyunjin rolled his eyes huffing "I'm not you granddaughter... I'm your grandson"
Leeknow laughed and so did Hyunjin coming closer to him.
"You think to much grandpa.."
LeeKnow barked out a laugh hitting Hyunjin's shoulder
"Ahhhh... don't hit me. I'm a fragile being."
LeeKnow smiled nodding
"Yes you are and I'm a monster.. I'm so tired of being this thing.."

"This thing is who you are and you're making the best of it.. you never hurt anyone, you saved my life and protecting me.. you are not a thing, you are still Minho.."

Leeknow stared into his eyes seeing Hyunjin taking a step back
"I'll go if you want me to.. if my presence will hurt you, then I'll go."

Leeknow stood in silence watching Hyunjin moving away towards his room, he didn't try to stop him cause deep down Leeknow didn't know what he wanted..

Hyunjin walked into his room and once the door was closed he broke down crying, he doesn't know why it hurts that much, why and when did he become attached to Leeknow.. how can he let go now? Cause clearly his presence is Leeknow's sadness.

"Don't go.."
The voice was low and muffled that Hyunjin thought he didn't hear it..
"Please don't go.. you are the only thing that made me feel good about my life... I go to sleep now waiting to wake up just knowing that I'll see you..."

Hyunjin was crying more now feeling the weight on his chest leaving him, he just kept nodding although he knows that LeeKnow won't see him.

"Okay grandpa..."
"Okay my Hyunjinie.."