This is the story of Ryujin & Yeji from childhood, through Itzy, and into retirement. During that time, an intense and sometimes painful love blossoms, made difficult by the demands of fame and the search for meaning and purpose during Itzy and afte...
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"Is it ok if I hold your hand?" Yeji whispered. "I don't think anyone will notice since it's so dark."
"Of course, I'd like that," Ryujin smiled. She felt Yeji's small hand slide into hers. It meant so much to Ryujin, but for Yeji, it was simply an act of intimate friendship - or so Ryujin believed.
"This park is so fun during the day, with all the people. I come here and sit on this same bench and sometimes I get ice cream."
"Vanilla crunch, right?" Ryujin asked.
Even in the twilight, she could see Yeji smile. "You remember. I shouldn't be surprised, you always remember things like that about people. It's so nice."
"Well, I always remember things about you," Ryujin smiled.
Yeji stood. "Follow me. There's a little trail that runs from here, almost to the bridge. I think we can make it back by bedtime."
"Well, what's the plan if we don't? Sleep on the street?"
Yeji laughed. "No. We'll buy a bus pass and ride around all night."
"That could be a fun adventure. Have you done it before?"
"Yes. A lot lately," she sighed.
Ryujin was concerned. "Should I be worried? I'm not sure how safe that is. Why are you doing it in the first place?"
"I don't know. I've been having trouble sleeping. Nightmares. The sound of the engine is soothing."
"I'm worried about you, Yeji," Ryujin said. "I've always felt like I know you, but it seems like you're slipping away."
"Why? Aren't we holding hands?"
Ryujin felt a low ache in her heart. "Sure, but I've seen other girls do it too."
"Yes, but they are usually walking to grade school!" she laughed.
The trail, just a thin ribbon of gravel overrun by weeds, wound towards the river. They could hear water lapping on the rocks.
"Ryujin, I hope I don't freak you out," Yeji said, "But I can't imagine not having you in my life."
What is happening?
"I feel the same, the same way about you and the other girls too."
For a moment Yeji was silent. "That's not exactly what I mean, I guess. There's one word for it. When we're together, I feel... I feel free. I can't describe it right. I feel free, like I'm floating in the clouds, like anything is possible, but when you're gone, everything turns gray, ugly."
"I feel the same way. I always feel comfortable with you. You're like a rope I can grab when I feel like I'm drowning."
Yeji sighed. "It's like... it's like I wish I was a painter. Before I met you, I felt like a blank canvas. I tried to draw myself, to conjure something up, but nothing happened. And then you came along and made me into something special."
