This is the story of Ryujin & Yeji from childhood, through Itzy, and into retirement. During that time, an intense and sometimes painful love blossoms, made difficult by the demands of fame and the search for meaning and purpose during Itzy and afte...
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Chaeryeong had to remind herself that she had actually once enjoyed dancing. But training was so hard that she had to ice her ankles and deal with ugly blisters after practice. On top of that, their studies were so intense that it seemed like everything had become a mash-up of dancing, singing, learning new languages (English, Chinese, Japanese, and Thai), acting, public speaking, on top of the other typical classes young people take in school.
What made it hard for Chae was that they had no way of knowing how long they'd be trainees. Some young performers arrived at fifteen years old, and were put in a group six months later, still not old enough to get a driver's license. They just had incredible raw talent. But some spent years in the brutal system. Fortunately, Chae had an even rarer gift: she knew herself, knew her limits, and understood her strengths and weaknesses. She also had an incredible capacity for hard work and for dealing with exhaustion and pain.
When you added these all together, it meant that Chae was calm, confident, tough, and could smile and help her fellow trainees survive the system. Sometimes trainees who were older than her made the trip to sit on the floor in her dorm with her while she helped calm them down. It didn't take her long to become the heart and soul of all the trainees.
It wasn't glamorous. Sometimes she even helped treat their blisters. A nasty job, but Chae wanted to be of service to her fellow girls. It didn't take long for her to become beloved by all the other trainees.
. . . . .
Yuna sprinted down the hall at full speed. She reached Chae's door at the end and practically crashed through it. Chae was on the floor stretching. Yuna screamed and jumped over her like a hurdler. But since she was going so fast, she didn't have enough space to slow down.
She tripped and stumbled headfirst into Chae's Ikea dresser, splintering it into pieces as she tumbled over it.
For a moment all was silent. Then Chae snorted once. Then she exploded with laughter. Yuna sat up with a pair of Chae's underwear on her head. When she saw the older girl laughing, she laughed as well. That was what Chae did to people.
"Are you ok?" Chae asked, still giggling.
"I think your underwear cushioned the crash."
Chae winked. "That's why you always buy top-quality underwear, Yuna. If those were cheap ones, you would have flown right out of the window!"
Yuna smiled. "Liar! None of us have good underwear. We're too poor! I can't even borrow any because I'm so much taller than everyone." Yuna looked around at the wreckage and became serious. "Chae, do you think I even have a chance to make it? There aren't many tall female idols."
"My hunch is that you'll actually do better. You've got the visual! Plus, you have an amazing voice and you're a great dancer. I hope we end up in a group together."
Yuna smiled. "That would be great. I also really like Ryujin, Yeji, and Lia. Maybe we should all practice together! We'd have so much fun!"
"By the way," Chae asked, "What's so important that you needed to destroy my furniture?"
"Hmm..." Yuna said, "I think I was going to ask if you had any peanut butter, but I can't be sure after a head injury!"
There was a gentle knock on the door and Lia looked in. "What are you two up to?" she asked.
"Just talking," Chae said. "I'm trying to see if I can get my legs to move again!" She wiggled her toes and even that made her wince with pain.
Lia groaned. "Practice was just... yikes. Vicious. I'm terrified that they're just going to get worse. Forever. And then someday I'll see you all performing and I'll be so damaged that I'll have to use a cane and -"
"Take a breath, sweetie," Chae said. "You're hard as nails. Either we all make it, or none of us make it. We'll be there. We just have to make sure that we work the system, and that the system doesn't work us. I'm fine with hard work, with grueling work, but I'm not going to let my mind or my heart get crushed just so I can be famous or whatever." She looked thoughtful. "I'm super thrilled about what we're doing, and I'm grateful that I have you two to train with."
"Chae unnie," Yuna spoke up. "I know you don't know them really well yet, but I think you'll love Ryujin and Yeji. They're very cool and super talented!"
"Where are they?" Lia asked.
"They went for a walk, and then they're meeting us all for dinner."
Lia grinned. "Our first meal as a family!"
Yuna and Lia went to their rooms to change for dinner. Chae sighed, and began picking up the pieces of the dresser. In the corner was an empty box left there on move-in day. "Hello new dresser," she said, and placed her clothes inside.
Her phone beeped and Chae picked it up and read the text message from Lia:
"hey, lets get mexican food at that new place we saw. ryujin and yeji will be there too."
A few minutes later, Chae, Lia, and Yuna were walking to the restaurant. The sun had set and the weather was cool for a summer evening, and felt good. They were chatting about how hard practice was when Lia suddenly felt someone take her hand. She looked and followed the long arm all the way back up: it was Yuna.
Lia felt her face get flushed. She was grateful that it was dark so the others couldn't see. Without looking up, she swallowed hard and gave Yuna's hand a squeeze, frightened of what her response might be. In a moment, Yuna squeezed back.
They still hadn't looked at each other. Lia was confused: she had never gotten the impression that Yuna was gay. Given the younger girl's lighthearted and fun nature, she didn't think she should read too much into it. But sometimes Lia was still lonely and homesick, so she was wondering if maybe her and Yuna could be "friends with hand-holding benefits." She wasn't sure that trying to explore a deeper relationship with Yuna was wise at this point anyway. Lia knew that Ryujin was in the same place as her - not knowing what Yeji's orientation was, and scared to take the next step.
When they got to the restaurant, Ryujin and Yeji had already grabbed a booth. The other three girls piled in and they were soon swapping stories and laughing a little too loud considering they were indoors. They had barely settled down when their food arrived.
Chae leaned back against the booth. She had a feeling that was new to her: as she looked at the girls laughing and smiling and she inhaled the appetizing smells from their food, she realized that she was in a moment that she would remember for the rest of her life. Someday they would think "That's when Itzy began." They were the Five Musketeers, in it together, in it forever, and she would never feel alone.
Outside, people walked by the restaurant, illuminated by the colors of the neon signs in the window. Cars sped by, occasionally honking.
"Who knows?" Chae wondered with a smile, "Maybe we'll be idols in the same group someday."
"That would be so awesome. I love you guys," Yeji said.
She gave Ryujin's hand a quick squeeze beneath the table.
