When Keli Anne meets the Knight brothers, she finds herself in a pickle between the two men. Will she have to choose between them or will they find a different way for her to be happy?!?
In this chapter, it is sad as it entails a character attempting to take their life. If it's too much then please wait for the next chapter.
I just don't know how much longer I can go without seeing her. I might be selfish but all I want is to be able to see her. Yet, she doesn't want to see me. Not now. I have to wait until she's ready. When will that be, though. The stupid fool that I am pushed her into my BDSM way too fast and early, meaning I hurt and terrified the poor girl. I hate myself for hurting her like I did. Jordan was right in what he said to me. The look in his eyes is something that I'll never forget. He was disappointed in me. Hell, I was disappointed in myself. Don't recall him ever getting so angry with me and I know how hard it is to make him angry. Once I came to my senses. It took me a while to come to my senses though. Maybe I should just let them get on with it; Jordan and Keli-Anne. He did meet her first. She'd be better off with him than me. I'm too selfish, not worthy of her or her time. I have been drinking nonstop since yesterday and ate lots of crap food. Along with my bottles of wine, I decided to have a soak in the bath.
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Oops I've overfilled the tub but not that I care. I climb or should I say, stumble into the big tub and I splash water over the sides. I curse when I realise I haven't put enough cold water in. I finish one bottle, drop it on the floor and reach for the other one. I yank off the cork. I take a large gulp. Visions of Jordan and Keli-Anne together play on loop in my mind. The way he would kiss her, touch and caress her soft tender skin. The way her eyes would light up when she gazed at him. The way she would smile nonstop at him. I swallow a larger amount of wine down my neck. I'm not even noticing the taste. Right now, I don't care.
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Jordan would be better off without me. Keli-Anne would be better off without me. The rest of my family would be better off without me. My bandmates would be better off without me. So would everyone else in my life. I climb out of the tub and go to my medicine cabinet. There's boxes of codeine and paracetamol. I hold them as I get back into the bathtub. The water going a bit cold so I empty it slightly and refill it with hot water. Reaching my arm out to grab hold of my pen and paper; I write down some words. 'Dear lil brother, Jordan. I'm so proud of the man that you have grown into. You were always a fun, loving and caring kid but since you've grown into a handsome, smart and decent man. There's many reasons why women adore you and throw themselves at you. You're their knight in shining armour, whereas I'm just the dark knight. We have a bond like no other. The bond that not many truly understand apart from us two. Wherever you were, that's where I wanted to be too, just like you did with me. Our shared love of women. Our love of sexy black cars, homes and clothes. Our shared experiences in life; from being kids to being bandmates and so on. I know and trust you that you will love and cherish Keli-Anne forever until the time is through. In a way that I never could. I'm thankful that you were there for her in a way that I let her down. I hurt her and I know that hurt you too. You both deserve far better than I ever could give you. You both deserve to be happy, especially you lil brother. I saw the way you made her smile when you were on your date in the park, that warmed my heart for you and for her. I don't think I could ever make her smile in the way that you can. I love you, always and forever, Jordan. Stay true to you, kidda. Love Jon 🖤
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I wipe my tears away and I take a mouthful of my wine. I place the note in an named envelope and put it on the side table next to the tub. Now it's time to write my second and final words. 'Dear Keli-Anne. I'm so thankful that I got to spend a little bit of time with you before I messed everything up. I will treasure those precious moments forever until I'm through. You are an amazing woman; one who is beautiful inside and outside. You deserve the world and so much more. Your sweet natured heart and soul has never ceased to inspire me. I saw the way my brother made you smile and laugh when you were on your date at the park, I could never get over how beautiful and stunning you looked. The smile you held was brighter than the brightest star in the sky. My brother caused that and I'm so glad that you have him. I trust that you will treat him with kindness, love and sincerity. I believe that you two are meant to be. I'm so sorry that I was an arsehole with you. I will forever be ashamed of myself for causing tears on your pretty face. I have a dark-side that I should have eased you into gently but my eagerness got the better of me, I apologise from the bottom of my heart. I wish you a lifelong of happiness and love to you, sweetheart. I know my brother will treat you like the queen that you are. Love to you, Jon 🖤' I also put this in its envelope and place it with the other one. I was thinking about writing for the rest of my family but Jordan is my number one followed by the sweetheart, Keli-Anne. I swallow a mouthful of the painkillers and down them with the wine. My eyes stream like a downpour of rain down my cheeks which I have no doubt in my face being red raw. My eyes begin to feel heavy. I'm struggling to keep them open but for the first time since I can't remember, I feel at peace. My eyes struggling to stay open. My heart breaks for the person who will find me but please don't hate me anymore than I already hate myself. I'm sorry Jordan. Love you lil brother, my kidda.
