Permanent in the Stars

9: Aurora

"It's pneumonia. I'm going to assume that you haven't been on bed rest. Your doctor did recommend that, correct?"

"They did recommend that, but I had midterms and other responsibilities that made bed rest not very possible."

"Ms. Bakker, you need to rest. Your body is trying to heal and you haven't been letting it. Pneumonia is your body begging you to take a break." I sigh. Midterms are over now and the next couple of weeks should be pretty easy course work. I don't think it'll be too hard for me to work from home and only go in if I need to take another exam (which shouldn't be for a while). "Ms. Bakker," the doctor says, trying to get my attention. I'd gotten so lost in my thoughts of what to do next, I had forgotten about the present. The fact that I'm sitting in a hospital bed with pneumonia.

"Yes," I say.

"We are going to keep you overnight and depending on how you are tomorrow, we'll decide what to do next." She leaves shortly after and a nurse comes in to go over how the rest of my night is going to look and if I'd like something to eat.

Josie is already on her way with soup since I'm not sure I can stomach spaghetti tacos right now.

"I told you that you were doing too much," Oliver says. He's sitting in the car next to me with a book in his lap. Before we left his place, Oliver ran upstairs and grabbed us books because he knew the wait at an emergency room on Halloween night was going to be crazy. He was right, of course. There were all sorts of people in here and we'd been waiting in the lobby for 3 hours before we got back.

St. Michael's is the same hospital the ambulance took me after my car accident. Looking at Oliver in that chair is reminding me of the past. How long 2 weeks has felt. So much has happened in what feels like such a short time. "What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking that time goes by really fast and that life is a lot shorter than we realize." My eyes feel glossy as I stare into nothing. "What are you thinking?" I look at him, shaking my thoughts at his sight.

His hair is messy and the skeleton facepaint has been mostly sweat off. His jacket is on, hands in pockets as he leans comfortably back in the chair. "I'm thinking that I wish we had met under different circumstances. I hate that in the two weeks of knowing you, we've been in a hospital room together on two different occasions."

"I'm a strong believer in the idea that people come into your life when they are supposed to. When we met, I definitely needed you." It's not often that I admit that I need other people. If I could, I'd do everything by myself for the rest of my life. But that's unrealistic. In order to survive, we need human connections.

"I think I needed you to." We are staring at each other with an intensity that is foreign to me. I've come to the realization that Oliver makes me feel unlike anything I've felt before. Nervous but completely comfortable. Like I can be myself without judgment but I worry about my actions because I don't want to do anything that will drive him away.

My problem is that I am a hopeless romantic. And the way things have happened with Oliver seems like the perfect romantic opportunity.

It's hard for me to put a name to what I feel as I've never been in love before and besides a few failed talking stages, I've never connected with another person on that level. "I needed a friend and you have got to be the most trustworthy person I've ever met," he says. Kindness, trust, patience, they are all things I try to lead my life with. Because of this reason, people are drawn to me. Because they see my kindness and know I won't refuse their requests. Once they get what they need out of me, I'm left behind; a minor character in their long books.

It's happened time and time again. People have come and gone in my life. I let them and I've gotten to a point in my life, that when they leave, it no longer hurts. That could be for two different reasons, which one it is, I haven't decided yet. Reason one is that I never let myself get fully attached to a person because subconsciously, I think they'll leave me. The second reason is that they were meant to leave, that everything happens for a reason and they were just another character in my book. I like to think it's the second reason.

The word friend pulls my romantic head out of the clouds and back down to reality. Of course, life isn't as simple as a book. Things don't work out that way and I need to do a better job at silencing my fantasies. Because fantasies usually lead to disappointment.

"Why'd you need a friend right now?"

"I know a lot of people and a lot of people know of me, but there's not many connections there. Just strangers pretending to be friends. It gets kind of lonely when you're looking at these people that you think are your friends and realize that you don't know anything about them. Only the shallow stuff. I don't know," he shrugs. "I feel like I know you, like I have for a while."

"Yeah. I feel like that too."

"Maybe we knew each other in a past life," he says in a joking manner but I can't help lingering on the idea. If we have multiple lives I like the idea that our souls have met before. That he feels familiar because he is someone my soul knows.

"Aurora Bakker, your parents are going to be furious with you. I wouldn't be surprised if they forced you to go back home." Josie barges into the room and it's hard for me to take my eyes off Oliver, but I peel them towards my loud cousin. What a weird desire for me– wanting to maintain eye contact with someone without it making me want to rip my eyes out of their sockets.

"Well, they can't force me. I'm a dependent adult." Ever since moving out of the house, I haven't depended on my parents for much. Scholarships take care of my tuition and my job at the campus garden pays my rent, food and gas money.

"You really should've been resting."

"Yeah, I know. I've heard it about 100 times. I'm going to rest now. Promise." I will. Now that I've gotten through all the important things on my calendar, I'll let myself rest. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

She hands me a thermostat. "Soup."

"Thanks. Sorry, I know this isn't how either of you wanted to spend Halloween." I look between my cousin and Oliver.

"Next year we'll be laughing about it," Josie assures. "Right now, you need to eat and sleep. I've got her Oliver, go back to the party."

"I really don't mind staying," he says, looking at me.

"No," I say. "That's ok. Plus, just because I'm in the hospital doesn't mean Halloween traditions stop. Josie and I have things to attend to."

He stands up from the chair. "Seriously, try to get some good sleep and drink lots of fluids. Call me if you need anything, ok?"

"Sure. Thank you." I smile at him.

He nods. "Goodnight Rory, I hope you guys enjoy your Halloween activities." He looks at my cousin. "Goodnight Josie."

"'Night," she says.

We watch him walk out of the room and when he's out of sight, Josie spins towards me. "You are so into him!"