Permanent in the Stars

10: Oliver

"You are so into her!" Asher exclaims. It was 1:45 a.m. when I got back to the party. Of course, it was still in full swing and the house was overfilled with people. "I watched you help her out of the house and the eyes don't lie. My man, you are crushing big time."

It's now 3 and there's still a small crowd of people here. Mostly hockey players and their girls. Asher and I are sitting in the kitchen, reflecting upon the night. "Dude, I don't know what it is." I'm able to speak freely with the beer that has given me loose lips. "It just feels right when I'm around her."

"Right?" he asks.

"Her presence is calming and I find it really easy to open up to her about things. Like I can trust her. Things are just... comfortable."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I haven't decided yet." It's something I need to figure out because the last thing I want to do is hurt Aurora. But I can't walk away from my feelings for her. She's magnetizing and I find myself so drawn to her, wanting to be close to her and unfold her to figure her out. "But I've only known her for 2 weeks. I just need to slow the fuck down."

My head is screaming at me to pull back. To avoid my emotion and turn this back into a business transaction. At least, that's what I would've done 2 weeks ago. Now that I know Rory, it's not an option. Because hurting her would only hurt me.

So my only other option is to continue on how it was before I started crushing on her. Play it out until graduation when we go our separate ways. After all, I'm only in college. This is just a chunk of my life and I need to keep Aurora in that chunk.

"Yeah. You have to remember the 3 month rule too," Asher says.

"The 3 month rule?" I ask for clarification.

"After 3 months of knowing each other, you guys will know if it's real or was just a temporary infatuation."

"That's bullshit," I say. "Every relationship goes at a different pace."

"Yeah but after 3 months, if you haven't gotten bored with her, then she's probably one you should keep around."

"That's bullshit. I wouldn't be interested in her and put effort into her if I thought she was boring."

"You don't know her yet," he says. "It's been 2 weeks. You know the version she wants you to know."

"It's not that shallow. It may only be 2 weeks, but it's deeper than that. I don't know how to describe it but, like, I feel it in my chest." I put my hand near my heart briefly, and drop my arm, shaking away my drunken thoughts to grab a water bottle and sober up.

"Wow. I never thought I'd live to see the day that Oliver Davies yearns for a woman. The mysterious lone wolf, finally enraptured by a lady." I roll my eyes at him.

"I already told you how this plays out. It's nice while it happens. You're right when you say human connections are a vital part of living. But they're temporary. We'll have a good time until graduation, and I'll let it run its course, but I'm not enraptured by her. I'm never going to become attached to her like that."

"We'll see," Asher says with a knowing smile.

~

The next morning, I'm at the hospital again. I didn't know what kind of coffee Rory likes or if she even likes coffee at all, but I hold three cups on a tray. Three different options for her to choose from.

I walk up to the room I know Rory is in, hands warm from the drinks. Through the window, I can see her laughing with her cousin about something. The light from outside shines and she glows with the morning sun. I must look like a crazy stalker outside her room as I can't look away from her, so I knock on the door as warning and enter gently.