Sugar Coated

24

Emil West

"I'm going to die."

"Don't be dramatic Em," Jax rumbled against my back, he leveled more of his weight on top of me until it pushed me into the cushions of my nest.

If any time was the time for dramatics it was now. The omega inside of me was pacing the bars of its metaphorical cage. I'd been interrupted in forging a bond with Delaney and it was not happy about it. I wasn't happy about it. But it was wrong. I could taste bile in the back of my mouth.

But the weight of Jackson across my back and the smell of the pack in my nest did help to settle me after the whole ordeal so I shut up for now.

I'd fallen asleep at some point, strung out and anxious enough that my dreams were mismatched and disorienting, slipping between erotic and horrifying. One moment I'd be buried between Delaney's thighs and then she'd be ripped away from me and devoured into the dark in the distance. It's obvious what caused that one. But others were bloody with my teeth buried in her neck and my skin burning. Delaney would change to Andres, to Jackson, to ... others. I heard my father's poisonous voice in my ear long after I woke up and the room turned gray with the dawn.

"We need to talk about it," his words were gentle when Jax finally put me out of my misery as I stewed in silence.

I didn't respond.

"You know better than that, Em."

I did.

And I didn't, which was the worst part. During the day when I saw her in the streaming sunlight, I knew what I was and what I wanted and it was easy to manage and to sift through. In the dark with her legs tangled around me while I felt the heat of her give to my cock on that first thrust?

I lost my fucking mind.

I didn't know what I was and where I went. All I knew was that she was mine and that I would have killed anyone who tried to take her from me. I needed to warn them away in whatever what I could, so I covered her in my scent inside and out. When she bared her neck and looked at me through those dark lashes I knew...I just knew what I had to do. Just like Dad had always told us.

Alpha's claimed what was theirs.

But I wasn't an alpha, was I?

I'd done everything to make that abundantly clear. My teeth still ached at the thought.

"It doesn't help that you're breeding."

I wiped the tears from my eyes, "Why am I so fucked up, Jackson?"

Jax kissed the back of my neck and ruffled my hair affectionately and it made the tears come faster. "You aren't fucked up. There is an omega instinct to claim your partner when you're breeding."

"Delaney isn't an omega."

Jackson didn't respond quickly enough. I could feel the words that Andres had left unsaid in our kitchen the other night sitting heavy in my chest. Whatever answer to why male omegas rarely choose a Beta as their pair settled like lead in my stomach.

I wouldn't be able to bond her like I wanted. She could bite me, certainly, but I wouldn't see my bond mark on her neck.

I choked on a sob again as I felt my stomach cramp with anxiety at the same time that my blood ran hot enough to scald at the idea of sinking my teeth into her pretty throat. I went mindless for a second, like I did in the height of my heat.

Jax's hushing brought me to while I struggled against his arms caging me to his chest, "You're okay Em. You're ok. It's OK."

I settled against his chest and let the steady beat of his heart bring me back to center, his deep purr lulling and quiet. "I still want her."

"I know, Em."

"She probably doesn't want anything to do with me anymore."

"I doubt that seeing as she stayed."

"She stayed?" Jackson kissed my cheek as his arms gentled around me, giving me more room and space to breathe if I needed it.

"Yes, she's still in bed with Andres ri-," Jax chuckled at my pout, "they just slept, so stop acting like you've been grievously wounded, Omega." He searched my face again the humor slowly bleeding away to seriousness. "You need to be absolutely sure, Em. It's not fair to her otherwise."

When I weighed it all together there was no contest. Delaney would win every single time. "I've never been so certain in all of my life, except when it comes to her, Alpha."

Jackson purred at the honorific I gifted him, "Then we tell her everything and she can decide as well. After that, we discuss boundaries for our safety and hers."

He was right. He almost always was. Sometimes I wished he was some unhinged creature that the media portrayed alphas as, so that I had some piece of him that was flawed and eased the ache in my heart when I thought of him.

"And if she says no?"

"Then we let her go," He held me tight in a promise that he'd hold me the same way if she walked away, the whole pack was in over our heads.