pinky promises 》conrad fisher ❥

11; love game.

∞

"conrad, what's going on, man? conrad?" steven called out to him as he found conrad stood on the beach, not responding and holding his chest, gasping. sounding like he was struggling to breathe.

"conrad, what's going on?! what happened!?" he shouted to him as conrad got closer to the waves, "panic attack. i'm fine. i'll be fine," he shouted back to steven, stopping him where he was, trying to wave him away.

"i'm going to go get jere," "no. don't get jere," he shouted to steven, "it's.. i just need a second," he said grasping his chest, "is there anything i can do?" steven asked, only one person knew how to really help him, to really calm down, to make him feel like nothing else was going on in the world, and that was emmy.

"i don't know, man. just talk," he shouted back, "okay? just talk about anything,"

"um, talk, right. um... um..," he stammers, "uhm, the beach. you know, the first time you guys brought me here to surf, man, i was so freaked out. you and here had just come back from some fancy surfing camp and you knew all these cool tricks. i felt like such a little kid. but you stayed and paddled with me till we caught a wave together. i thought you were the coolest person in the world," steven admitted.

"i guess you were wrong about that one," conrad replied, knowing he had fucked up things between them and between him and emmy. he knew steven still hated him a little bit for what he had done.

"no," steven replied, "you're still the coolest," he said to him, "you have these a lot?"

conrad nodded, "yeah. more since my mom died," he said finally managing to turn around to face steven, "i'm glad you're here,"

"so, you want to tell me what got you all worked up?" steven said looking at him worried, not having any idea he had panic attacks in the first place. this was the first time he'd dealt with one, "or just be bros and pretend this never happened?"

"i found out i got into stanford,"

"what? are you serious?!"

"yeah, man. my mom had this fantasy about me finding myself on the west coast," conrad said to him, "wait, wait, wait, connie, this is a good thing, man. no, you've been dreaming about stanford since you were ten years old,"

"yeah, yeah, yeah. i know... but things are just starting to get better with jere, and he's going to finch in the fall, which is close to brown, so it just doesn't make sense to transfer anymore," "hey, dude, dude, dude, you don't have to decide this second or anything, okay?"

"steven, what about...," "emmy?" steven asked, knowing exactly what his mind went to when he saw the acceptance, he instantly thought of her.

"she wanted us to go to brown together. she wanted us to hang out so she knew she wouldn't ever be alone there," "conrad.. you guys aren't dating anymore," steven said to him, all he could think about was her. it didn't matter that they weren't dating anymore because he still cared about what she was going to think.

"you have to think about yourself, but you should talk to jere,"

"he doesn't even know i applied, man. only emmy did, so...," "so?" "please don't tell him,"

"i... i mean, stanfords not even an ivy. so fuck em, right?" steven said, "let's go..," conrad said pointing back towards the house.