St. Ambrose Mental Health and Rehabilitation Center //// AU LiLo

Chapter 62: Aftermath

Author's Note:

1. Thank you all for the support and attention you've given this story. I really appreciate the likes and comments, and I never imagined so many people being interested in something that I wrote.

2. Sorry this update has taken so long. I've written this chapter probably about half a dozen times by now as I couldn't decide what direction to go in. I wanted to show the aftermath of Harry's decision, but I didn't want to focus too heavily on the immediate devastation. I didn't want to drag it out and I wanted to show the boys' progression, particularly Louis's. Had this happened before Liam, his reaction would've been far more dramatic and his downturn far more intense and drawn out. Liam centers him, though. He gives Louis strength, even when Louis is fighting against it. I hope I've done this justice and you enjoy it. Please feel free to comment on what you like/dislike, or what you saw happening differently.

3. This chapter does contain material related to suicide and slight domestic violence. If these are triggers for anyone, please be cautious while reading. Your health is far more important than any story. Also, if you are struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, or are in a potentially violent relationship, please get help immediately. It is NEVER okay for a significant other to put their hands on you in any way you are not comfortable with. It doesn't matter if it only happened once, if they were really mad, or if you feel like you may have provoked them. It is not okay.

4. Please enjoy, happy reading :D

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Louis is a different man than the one he was when he entered Arrigo's office on that terrible, cold January night. All the boys had changed. They were as bonded as ever, their brotherhood now running blood deep, but that night had also forced them to grow up.

Living in a rehab facility altered reality. Their world was mostly contained to the acreage of the St. Ambrose grounds and the small town they would visit on their weekends out. Sure, they thought about what it would be like to go back home to Bradford and Mullingar, what it would be like to go off to London, but when life is dictated by a schedule of therapy sessions and orderly-dispensed antipsychotics, those thoughts feel more like dreams than plans for the future.

Harry brought the future to their doors and left it pounding there, constantly knocking to be let in. In the first place, he forced them all to reimagine what life after St. Ambrose would be like. They had all known they would be released at different times and spread out across the UK, mostly going back to their homes. The plan was always to stay in touch, though. They had been through hell with each other, they were each other's best friends and support systems, nobody understood what they went through like they did. Now, with Harry gone, the twice-a-month lad's night will always be a reminder of the missing boy.

Secondly, they all realized how much they were taking recovery for granted. They had all made so much progress, and they had thought Harry had also. They had thought he was just having a temporary setback, that he'd be back on track with a little rest and an extra couple of sessions. When Harry jumped they fell apart, and each one of them saw the risk in themselves.

Louis had completely lost it. He destroyed Arrigo's office in a fit of rage and stormed off into the night. He left everyone worried sick about him, but had only driven back to Doncaster to return Dan's car. He needed the time alone, and the silent drive along with the train ride back put his head straight enough to at least stop lashing out. Instead, he shut down. Louis knew that wasn't any better but he didn't want to deal with the pain and guilt yet. He decided to let himself wallow, and considered it a win that he didn't give in to his urge to go off and get so high that he couldn't come down again.