St. Ambrose Mental Health and Rehabilitation Center //// AU LiLo

Chapter 36: First Date

A/N: First off, I would like to thank everyone for their reads, votes, and comments, you're all amazing and I love you all. Second, I want to give a special shout out and dedicate this chapter to larrylover4life123 because she was the first to comment on this story and continues to leave amazing, supportive comments on chapters that I think are total crap until I go back and read them after she sings their praises. So thanks, hun, this one is for you, I hope you enjoy it. If there is a way to properly dedicate a chapter, I don't know how to do it, I'm sorry I hope this note is enough :). Lastly, I put two totally amazing songs in this chapter, the first is Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol and the second is Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran. If you haven't heard them, I highly recommend them. I don't own the songs, lyrics, or artists, legal disclaimer blah, blah, blah. So without further ado, I hope you all enjoy, sorry for the really long author's note. Love you all lots!!!

Liam had been on edge for a few days now, since he'd received a call from his mother confirming her visit. Louis had to talk him down from panic attacks four or five times, little things setting him off like a resident catching him off guard and rushing by in the hall or Niall bursting into the room unannounced as they lounged in bed. Louis was concerned, because the lad had been doing so well before this, but Liam kept insisting that he was alright, that he was only a little nervous and not completely terrified.

Louis knew Liam was lying, but he also knew Liam hated how the attacks made him feel weak like a child. Louis understood, it was the same way he felt when he was having a bad spell with his addiction, so he gave Liam the space he needed, not pushing him to talk. At least that was his outlook before he woke up at 5am the day before Liam's mum was meant to visit, alone in his bed.

Louis pulled on his glasses searching around the room for his boyfriend. He spotted Liam, sitting at the desk, hunched over a large book.

"Why are you reading in the dark?" Louis asks, getting out of bed to walk over to Liam.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Liam responds. He had turned on the desk lamp but threw a shirt over it to dim the glow of the light so it wouldn't disturb Louis's sleep.

"You didn't," Louis says, settling down in Liam's lap. "The bed got cold without you in it."

Liam understood what that meant, that Louis couldn't sleep without him, and it warmed his heart. He wraps his arms tightly around Louis, planting a soft kiss on his bare shoulder. He didn't want to wake the lad, but he was glad Louis was up now, his consciousness bringing a tranquility Liam had been chasing for hours.

"I woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep, thought if I read a bit my eyes would get tired."

Louis looked down at the book Liam had on the desk, his Oscar Wilde volume opened almost half way through.

"How long ago was that?"

"Around one."

Louis sighs heavily, turning in Liam's lap so that he can cup his face with his hand and stare into his eyes. "I wish you would talk to me."

Liam closes his eyes, nuzzling into Louis's hand. "In a little over twenty- four hours, I could be losing my mum," he whispers. "She's always been my constant, trying her best to buffer my dad. When it comes down to it, though, if it's between me or him, it'll be him."

"I'm sorry baby, I don't know what I'm meant to say here. I don't know if you want me to tell you what I'm actually thinking or if you just want me to hold my tongue and tell you it'll all be alright."

"I'm scared Lou," Liam finally admits. "But this is something I refuse to back down from, I won't lose what we've built. I need your honesty, I need your clarity to give me strength for what's to come."