White Lies

Chapter 28

"I'm not gonna tell em' you're here. I'll keep you safe." Rat assured Jenna as she cleaned up in Cara Cara's back bathroom. "You didn't do shit wrong, she provoked you. I invited you and you were right, she's not an old lady anymore. Once she filed for divorce, you moved up and she became nothing to the club."

Looking at him in the mirror, Jenna's makeup smeared and running down her face, she could see he was speaking sincerely. "Not to the club but what about Happy? He's going to kill me, I just," she huffed and kicked the cabinet with her heels, "I just hate her. She gets whatever she wants!"

"I know." His boots squeaked as he came up behind her and started helping wipe the blood from her upper arms. "But not now," he reminded her with a smile. "She's gonna remember not to get in people's faces after what you did."

"But I'll never have Happy." She said right to the man she was currently sleeping with, the one who was putting himself on the line for her. "I think that's why I did it. I wanted to get her out of the way but now I see he's never going to want me."

Rat swallowed his pride and anger and nodded. "But you got me now, fuck that psycho Happy."

"You won't let him hurt me?"

"Never. He's not gonna touch you, Jenna."

--

"I'm just checking in on you three," Tara spoke softly as she entered the room. "They're stable, critical but stable, so I'm heading home for some sleep before my actual shift starts."

"Thanks for coming in," Happy spoke without taking his eyes off the twins. "You saved Abel, you can save mine too."

"I'll try, Hap, but I can't perform miracles and I can't promise anything right now."

He nodded, knowing that much from watching his mother slowly wither away and die in hospice. "I get it."

"You can touch them," she smiled. "Just wash your hands," her eyes darted to the small sink in the corner of the room. "Tomorrow you can try to hold him, if you want."

"I'm good," he shook his head.

"Alright. Did you and Rory pick out any names?"

"No." He finally looked at her, his eyes pained and glistening with tears. "That was her job."

Tara smiled a little and nodded before pointing to the various tubes and monitors. She was explaining each one for him, even though he didn't ask, when a nurse joined them.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Knowles," the woman said timidly. "But the patient in 347 is awake and asking for you and her husband."

"Thank you." Tara said as the woman left as quickly as she came. "Do you want to go see Rory?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute."

"Take as much time as you need." With a gentle hand on his shoulder, Tara made her exit and used the time before Happy arrived to explain the babies conditions.

Nothing had changed in those hours so Rory received the same information as Happy did but her reaction was much different. Rory wailed, the pain from her incision as each sob wracked her body did nothing but make her cry even harder. There was no violent need to hurt Jenna just a deep, all-consuming aching sorrow for children.

"Happy's with them now." Tara said as she tried in vain to comfort Rory. "When you're feeling a bit stronger, calmer you can go down to see them."

"Now," Rory said as Happy walked into the room with bloodshot eyes. "I want to see them now."

Tara looked to Happy for support, they both knew she wasn't ready. "I'll take you down soon, Ror." He said authoritatively.

"Happy," she cried and extended her arms as far as she could without pulling her stitches. "Did you tell them I love them?" Her fingers gripped onto his bloody SAMCRO shirt in desperation.

"They know," he promised as Tara slipped away to give them some much needed privacy. "They're tiny but they're beautiful."

"Hap, she can't die. We have to keep her strong." Rory begged him, as if he had any control, to keep their daughter alive.

"I'll do whatever I can but baby, you have to know-"

"How's Emma?" Rory asked knowing exactly what he would say and not wanting to hear it. "She's probably terrified, she saw everything."

"She's upset, I sent her to grab a bite with Tig and Gem. She's spending the night with whoever she trusts enough. She barely wanted to go with Tig, that's not a good sign, she loves him."

"Okay. I want to see her tomorrow." Happy nodded and Rory felt the urge to break down again but she didn't, she remained as calm as she could. "Asher," she looked up at Happy with a weak smile. "Asher and Olivia, that's their names, if you like them."

"I do," he smiled genuinely and kissed the top of her head. "No Happy Junior?"

"Actually, Asher means happy in Hebrew so, yeah, he is a junior." Rory could see his eyes light up as she told him the reasoning behind their son's name and it made her heart soften toward him.

"Thank you, that means a lot." Finally he sat beside her, holding her hand to his lips and let a few silent tears roll down his cheek, wetting her hand. "I'm sorry. Rory, this is on me, this is my fault. Those kids are hurting because of the shit I pulled."

"I know," she couldn't look at him. "The fallout, them getting hurt, it's exactly why I filed. I never imagined it would be like this though and I wonder if I didn't file, if it ever would have even happened."

"Oh baby," Happy shook his head. "No. This is on her and me, not you."

Rory nodded but she still felt responsible. "Please, I want to see them."

"Okay," he stepped out of the room and asked the nurse for a wheel chair and came back with a smile on his face. "I'll give you a lift."

She knew he was trying but his pain was glaring even through the smile. He wheeled her down and into the room, holding his breath while waiting for her reaction, and maneuvered her as close as he could to the incubator.

"My babies," she sobbed. "I'm sorry, she whispered as she leaned her forehead against the plastic. "I'm so sorry. I love you. Please be okay, please be strong."

Happy crouched down and tried to offer her support but Rory weakly pushed him away. "I need a minute please."

"Yeah, I'll be right outside."

He watched through the window as she cried and whispered to their children. It took every ounce of his, far from minimal, will power to keep from running. It was what he wanted to do, to spare himself the pain, and it was what he always did do but Happy stood firmly in place until she waved for him to join them again. He took a knee beside Rory and they sat together in silence staring at their sickly children with one thought sticking out among the millions of others floating in their heads.

"I love you," he whispered as he placed one hand on her knee and the other over hers on the incubator.