White Lies

Chapter 30

I listened to this song on repeat while writing this. Really helped get me in that mindset. Thanks for the suggestion, Bibbit89, it does fit them!

--

Happy wasn't sure what was worse; the act of burying his daughter with a cold and lifeless Rory beside him or the crowd of people milling about his house, bothering and coddling him, after the service. Gemma and the other girls were helping, Rory was nowhere to be found but even if she was present physically, mentally she was far away.

"How you two holding up?" Bobby asked finding Happy with a beer hiding in the kitchen.

Shaking his head, he took a swig and simply let the silence speak for itself. Bobby waited, just standing with Happy as people passed by the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Hap, I really am."

"Thanks."

Taking the single word as a sign, he continued. "How's Rory?"

"I don't know, she won't talk to me or even Emma. Today's the first time I've seen her since the baby died. We got to spend some time with her," he tried to play off his palpable emotional response to speaking about it, "Say goodbye and shit but Rory's been at her apartment since then."

"Where is she now?"

"Bedroom. I had to beg her to get her to even come today."

"Can I do anything for you?" Bobby asked, his voice much lower, as he forced Happy into a firm hug. "Me or the club?"

Happy shook his head and stood without speaking until Bobby saw himself back out with the others. He thought he had found some peace until Johnny appeared.

"Emma's looking for you, she's out back." Happy didn't try to hide his annoyance. He huffed and placed his beer back on the counter. He loved her, of course, but even during the best times he was no match for the child's inquisitive nature and this would be simply painful. "How was the service?"

"Shitty. How was she? Sorry you had to miss it, I didn't think it was good for her to be there."

Johnny nodded and helped himself to a beer. "No I agree, she didn't need to see that shit. She's alright, I guess, I don't really recognize her anymore. Scared a lot, quiet, I think you guys should find someone to talk to her. I tried talking to Ror but, well you probably know how that went."

"Yeah, it's like talking to a goddamn ghost."

"You gotta pull her together, man." Johnny hated having to appeal to Happy but he was lost. "I tried, you're all she's got."

"Not for long, she filed so we got like," he paused and counted back, "Three months left."

"I know." Johnny looked at Happy with actual disgust. "I wasn't gonna bring that shit up, the affair, it's fucking bullshit."

"You think I don't know that?" Quelling the urge to cause Johnny intense physical trauma Happy crushed his fist against the refrigerator door with a subdued grunt before storming out of the kitchen.

--

Happy stepped out into the sun to see Emma sitting in the playhouse he had built for her long before she was ever close to big enough to play with it.

"Baby girl," he announced himself as she'd started needing him to do. "You alright?"

"You're sad, Daddy." She looked out the little plastic window frame with a deep set frown. "Mommy is too and that makes me sad."

"I don't want you to be sad." He sat cross legged outside the purple door, a sunflower painted right in the center. "Me and Mommy will be fine."

"Why are you sad?" Her big innocent eyes tore through into him, pulling the truth from him. He wanted to lie, make up some ridiculous reason but it had been long enough and he couldn't imagine making Rory explain it.