Complicated

Chapter 42: Heart ache

**Trigger warning- Miscarriage**

**I am not making light of, or glorifying this situation in anyway: I have physically gone through this, and I know first hand- if anyone needs to talk, my inbox is always open.**

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I was curled into a tight ball. The pain was so intense, the only thing I could do was whimper every once in a while. Gally, Newt and Clint had moved me back to Gally and my room. Trying to hear anything over Ben's screaming was impossible. And I just wanted quiet and to be alone while I delt with this.

I knew something was wrong the moment I landed hard on my stomach. And then being smacked around and the last blow to my stomach, on top of the stress...I was loosing baby bean.

I know I had screamed about threatening to freeze to death and loose baby not having to deal with it anymore, but I didn't fully mean it. The pain in my stomach was nothing compared to the heart ache. It hurt so much. I had no tears left to cry. I didn't scream, I just lay curled up in a tight ball, staring empty eyed at the wall.

Gally had tried talking to me, tried pleading with me, but I couldn't I had nothing. I was empty and numb. I could hear Minho giving Gally, Newt and Alby a run down of exactly what happened. They stood right outside the bedroom door.

"Shuck sakes. She can't catch a break!"

"That's the second Griever to come out and attack in the last few months..."

"And each time it was Charlie's running partner."

"Well... that's just circumstantial."

"It killed Jax and stung Ben and left. It could have taken her, easily. But it left her. I don't know man... It was like it was programed to leave her..."

"Well, it's not like she came away safe! She's loosing..." Gally's voice broke. There was a thump, maybe his fist into the wall. "She's loosing the baby."

It sounded like he slid down the wall. There was some shuffling.

"Gally...I'm sorry. I really am." Newt sounded just as heart broken.

"I tried man...We all did. But..still wasn't enough." Minho had a mix of anger, regret and sadness.

"I don't blame you. At least I don't think so. I told her not to go back in! But she never listens!"

"Don't you bloody dare blame this on Charlie!" Newt warned, his voice sounded dangerous. "She didn't cause this! You blame this klunk on the Creators! Not on that poor girl!"

"Get your ass up and go back in there. Be the support she needs right now, she doesn't need anymore blame. Yes, you're hurtin' I can't imagine, that was your bean too...but SHE has to physically deal with it." Alby's deep voice rumbled through the door. "Your excused for the rest of the day. Go."

There was more shuffling and the door creaked open. And footsteps came closer, and I felt Gally sit down on the bed behind me.

"Charlie? Will you talk to me?" He pleaded.

I didn't have anything to say. I just staired blankly at the wall. He sighed, and I felt him lay down behind me, his arm gently pulled me closer, and I felt his strong chest behind me.

"I'm here." He whispered.

He held me for the rest of the afternoon. The cramps and pain got worse, and then the spotting started. Gally gently carried me to the shower. Curled in the warm stream of water, I finally cried when the spotting picked up and it turned into the heaviest bleeding I had ever had, it lasted for a while and then slowed down. I slowly and gingerly got dressed, I tried to walk, but everything was so sore and tended. My hip was all bruised from landing on the stone floors a few times. Gally didn't say anything, just looked at me with sad broken eyes and picked me up. I curled into him, and his strong safe arms carried me back to bed. He didn't let me go all night. We didn't say anything. Finally right before day break I finally had the energy to speak.